Signs You’Re A Lunatic

Mon., Sept. 11, 2000

Ashley Ellerd, Shadle

10. You watch “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” hoping you’ll learn how to turn your brother into a frog.

9. Your friends have officially nicknamed you the first “dumb brunette.”

8. You tell the dentist you etched your name into your teeth for security reasons.

7. You pretend you’re in England and drive on the left side of the road.

6. You beat yourself up to avoid a pounding from your classmates.

5. You see a street sign and have a sudden urge to relieve yourself.

4.You’ve added four locks to your locker for fear someone will steal your prized spitwad collection.

3. You wear garlic around your neck, put an orange peel in your sock and place a horsehoe in your pocket on Friday the 13th.

2. You lock your doors and windows and stay in bed all day on Halloween so the boogeyman can’t get you.

And the No. 1 sign you’re a lunatic is that you’re afraid to step on even one blade of grass.

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