Get Help If Suicidal Thoughts Recur
Q. Is it normal for a teenager to contemplate suicide? Every time I think about it, I chase the thought away, and it’s not like I really plan to do it. But that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it every once in a while. And don’t tell me to talk to my parents. They wouldn’t understand. They’re always saying I don’t know what stress is, so I doubt they’d do anything but tell me I’m being silly.
A. Difficult times may cause some teens to think of suicide. For most, it’s a fleeting thought countered by the firm belief that suicide isn’t the answer. When the thought is recurrent, it’s more serious and a sign of depression. Depression often causes a person to feel hopeless, making it hard to solve problems. Such feelings of despondency can lead a person to have suicidal thoughts. I am very concerned for you. Please find a counselor who can help you with what is going on in your life. From what you write, it sounds like you think your parents wouldn’t understand. Because of this, it is important that you find an adult to talk to. What about a favorite teacher/ counselor, friend’s parent, minister or a relative? If there isn’t an adult, please call the Spokane Crisis Line-First Call for Help at 838-4428. There will be counselors available to guide you to the right place so you can talk to someone. - Stacey Mainer, M.S.W. Adolescent and Adult counseling
A. RUN - don’t walk - to a competent mental health professional! During our teen years, many of us have passing thoughts of suicide. Adolescence can be a very unsettling time when we do a lot of things we really don’t mean to do. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You can’t undo it because you didn’t mean it. Take it from someone who didn’t get help for his depression until middle age: Get help now! Kim Smith, Spokane
A. Teenage suicide statistics are frighteningly high. If you are contemplating suicide, you need to talk to a trusted adult or friend right away. You also need to think about why you are having these thoughts. Did you have a fight with a friend? Are you having trouble in school? The problems you have can be solved in a far less drastic way. Imagine how suicide would affect your family and other people who care about you. - Jennifer Kassner, Shadle
Q. How can I become less shy and more outgoing? I just clam up in social settings, like football games and dances. I always think about what I could have said that might have been interesting but not until I’m home in bed. Help me.
A. I think one of the most difficult things about being a teenager is discovering who you are and where you fit with your peers and the world. Part of this is being in social settings, meeting people and developing strong friendships. A person who is shy or quiet can feel more like an observer until relationships develop. What about focusing on having a conversation with just one person when you’re in a group setting? Once that relationship develops, it might make the group situation easier. Asking a person a lot of questions also is a good way to start a conversation. One other thing you should do is make sure you socialize with people who share your interests and are a good fit for you. And I hope you come to value who you are. Being quiet can be a great strength. - Stacey Mainer
A. I understand what it’s like to be shy. I was, and occasionally still am, a loner. But I missed not having friends and being included in group activities, so I worked on developing relationships. My advice is this: Don’t worry about what others think of you. Just relax and be yourself. - Jennifer Kassner
What’s your advice?
Q: I am a 14-year-old high school freshman and my dad still spanks me. I’ve tried telling him I’ve outgrown it, but all he says is, “If you act like an adult, we’ll treat you like one.” How am I supposed to act like an adult and not a kid if I’m still a kid? How do I get him to understand me?
Q. I’ve been bullied for a number of years because I’m overweight. I’m also good at school, and the combination is deadly. I’ve tried telling parents and teachers, but it often makes things worse. Please don’t tell me to ignore it. I need help!