Give him a big kiss, get the romance you deserve

DEAR DIANE: I’m not terribly experienced in the romance arena. My sole relationship experience and all my major crushes except for the one at hand have been on really good friends … one day I wake up and realize I’m sort of in love with this guy I’ve known for eons.

One of these old friends has a brother I’d met briefly but never really talked to; I always thought he was cute but nothing more. Last spring, shortly before I moved away for a year, I ended up talking to him at a party for hours and got a mild crush. But I was moving and decided nothing would come of it.

But somehow we started sending each other e-mail, and over the past seven or eight months we have e-mailed each other nearly every weekday, often several times a day, and talked on the phone for hours as often as two or three times a week. In three trips home I’ve managed to hang out with him and him alone. He’s in better touch with me than are any of my good friends.

I, for one, am madly in love. But there is absolutely nothing concrete indicating this is anything but the most platonic of relationships. We flirt, but we never cross any lines.

I know I’m terribly shy about it, have no idea how to cross a line anyway, and am quite terrified of losing his friendship if it turns out he’s not interested. I’m moving home in a few weeks, and I want to know what to do. How can I find out how he feels? CONCERNED

DEAR CONCERNED: Kiss him. Any man who talks for hours on the phone with you isn’t doing so just to be “friends.” He likes you, but is also too shy to make the first move because he thinks he’ll “screw up the friendship.” Sound familiar?

Go for it. Give him a big kiss and get this romance you deserve started.