Spokane needs more sound, less fury

Whereas a city as great as Spokane deserves to have its own summertime soundtrack.

And whereas filling the downtown with some free music might make shoppers feel better about having to pay so much for parking.

And whereas Spokane’s current sidewalk music scene sucks more than the Riverfront Park garbage-gobbling goat.

I, Mayor James West, hereby declare June 14-18 to be “Spokane Street Music Week.”

Sorry, Jim. I’ll scratch that line about the goat for the final version.

Once I get all the whereases and verbiage written down in a dignified format, Mayor West assured me that he will ink his John Henry on it and give Street Music Week his official blessing.

So mark your calendars, my tune-loving amigos.

For the second consecutive year, I’m embarking on a minstrel mission. The goal is to help feed Spokane’s hungry and attempt to elevate the quality of sidewalk musicianship in our downtown business core.

Show times are Monday through Friday, noon to 1 p.m. Come on down to the northwest corner of Wall and Main outside Tully’s Coffee and Homestead Birkenstocks.

I’ll be strumming and singing my original compositions like “Young & Wild,” an ode to the lost days of my youth:

“My old girlfriend lives out of town.

“She’s got five kids; she’s a Mormon now…”

I’ll also be reprising my song about the city of my birth:

“We once had an Expo in Spokane.

“I think it’s time we got over it.”

Once again, every nickel donated will go straight to the Spokane Food Bank.

Last year’s take was $503.71. This year I’d like to at least double that.

Expansion. That’s the key to achieving this dream.

I want this to be more than just a Doug Clark solo event. So today I’m putting a call out to the area’s public-minded musicians.

Come downtown and play an hour for a worthy cause.

Contact me via the information given below. If you have the time and can actually play, I have a street corner with your name on it.

Wouldn’t it be great to see a variety of musicians performing at several different locations during the lunch hour all next week?

Already it’s beginning to happen.

Kendall Feeney, one of the city’s first-rate classical musicians, has agreed to perform some standards on her viola. She’ll be outside Anderson & Emami Men’s Clothiers at Main and Post from noon to 1 p.m. on Wednesday only.

Wow. Kendall Feeney. Spokane Street Music Week is in danger of becoming a classy event.

Mayor West has promised to help me get an event license to cover all musicians who participate. That will mean more money for the food bank.

Under normal circumstances, itinerant troubadours must shell out 35 bucks each for a license to play legally in Spokane. This may be one of the reasons our city is such a sinkhole when it comes to street music.

Seattle, for example, requires no permits to perform. Anyone who has been to the Emerald City knows the downtown is typically electric with free entertainment.

There’s no reason we can’t replicate a similar scene right here.

I haven’t twanged a note and already Spokane Street Music Week is ahead of schedule.

VU Music Productions president Dave Cebert, who last year donated $200, has upped his ante to $300.

True, I have to wear a VU Music shirt while performing and refer to myself as the VU Music Monkey Boy. But humiliation and selling out have always been the Olsen twins of the music industry.

If last year is any indicator, I’m looking forward to having some unexpected encounters.

Like the two security goons who, despite my license, tried to shoo me away from the sidewalk in front of River Park Square.

Or the snubbing I got from then-Mayor John Powers as he breezed by while I was playing.

Or the driver who shouted “bleeeeep you” at me as he motored by one of my performances.

So come downtown next week. Who knows what you’ll see.

Until then, this is Monkey Boy signing out.