Wait, wait! Let me try that again
Like most clear-thinking Washingtonians, my reaction to the state Republican Party’s sore loser efforts to replay the gubernatorial election has been as follows:
Hoots, snickers, chortles, eye rolls, spit takes …
Granted, nearly 4,000 unregistered dead Democrats voted for Christine Gregoire in King County alone.
So what? Getting the deceased to turn out is a time-honored tradition in American politics. (Note: Political science instructors call this “The Chicago Method.”)
Besides, Dino Rossi Republicans have only themselves to blame. Had they been a little more on the ball they would have followed the Democrats’ lead and held their own “Rock the Ghost Vote” concerts.
But maybe there is something to the argument put forth by GOP Chairman Chris “Second Chance” Vance as to why this flawed election demands another vote.
Just maybe Vance isn’t the sour grapes partisan crybaby whiner he appears to be. Could it be that this party hack has accidentally put forth an Al Einstein brain flash that could better the way we all live?
I’m talking about an idea with a bigger potential than Velcro or even the George Foreman Grill.
I’m talking about the Do-Over.
Think about it. Why should golf be the only venue where it is perfectly legal and socially permissible to take a free second swing after hooking your Titleist off the course and into a swamp?
Wouldn’t it be swell if we could all take a Do-Over now and then?
Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl boob floppage. Howard Dean’s Scream. The Invasion of Iraq. The Bill Clinton/Monica Cigar Incident.
Paris Hilton’s video sex tape.
Do-Over. Do-Over. Do-Over. Do-Over.
Do-Over!!!
I remember this time in high school when I would have killed for a Do-Over.
It happened after I summoned up the courage to ask this beautiful, leggy and blond-haired classmate to a drive-in movie. She said yes, but then asked me a question I was completely unprepared for:
“Do you want me to drive?”
“Er, sure,” I replied without thinking.
She picked me up Friday night in front of my house. I slid into the cramped confines of her car, a pale 1960-something Volkswagen Bug.
To my horror, I discovered an automotive truth: There is absolutely no graceful way to make out in a VW Bug.
Not that I didn’t give it the ol’ adolescent try. Hunkered down in a bucket seat – separated from Linda by an emergency brake lever and a shift knob – I moved in for a lip lock.
(Note: Volkswagen owner’s manuals referred to this as the VW Reach-Around in the “Do Not Attempt” section.)
Putting my arm around her nearly dislocated my shoulder. She watched my circus contortionist act … and started laughing.
Trust me. There is no buzz kill greater for a teenage boy like the sound of cruel laughter coming from a date.
We watched the movie. We ate some popcorn. She drove me home.
I stood on the curb, cursing my fate as the glow of tiny taillights faded away.
Life on the local scene would benefit greatly from Do-Overs.
Example 1: Some 16,000 investors, many of them elderly people living in the Northwest, sink their life savings into Spokane’s Metropolitan Mortgage & Securities – which declares bankruptcy in 2004.
Example 2: The Spokane City Council agrees in 1997 to a joint public/private partnership for a downtown River Park Square parking garage – which turns into a financial disaster and ongoing political soap opera.
Example 3: Kootenai County commissioners vote in 2000 to allow Burlington Northern & Santa Fe Railway Co. to build a railroad refueling depot over the Spokane Valley-Rathdrum Prairie aquifer – which spills raw wastewater into the drinking water less than 120 days after the so-called state-of-the-art facility opens.
Second Chance Vance is right. I want to live in a Do-Over world.