The jokes are on them

The one-liners were flying at the Professional Baseball Scouts Federation dinner last week.

Frank Robinson and Curt Schilling were both honored at the dinner. Schilling broke into the majors in 1988 with Baltimore, where Robinson was the manager.

Of Schilling, Robinson said, “I remember him telling me about buying a new Corvette with a $6,000 stereo and a $10,000 alarm system. He said if the car was ever stolen, his phone would ring in his apartment.”

Robinson said that he told Schilling, “Yeah, and the person calling would say, ‘Thanks for the wheels, Curt.’ “

Schilling, during his turn at the podium, said, “When I first came up to the Orioles, the guys in the bullpen told me there was a pool for what inning Frank would fall asleep in the dugout. I thought it was one of those things like telling a new bat boy to go find the key to the batter’s box.

“Well, there really was such a pool. The first time I entered it, I picked the bottom of the third. We had a set of binoculars out there to watch Frank, and sure enough, he nodded off in the bottom of the third, and I was the winner.”

Schilling, noting that he broke a button on his shirt on his way to the dinner, said, “I was panicked about it until I realized I’d be in a room with baseball scouts, the worst-dressed group ever.”

Tommy Lasorda, on how dinner organizer Dennis Gilbert got him to emcee the event: “Dennis asked me if I loved my country and believed in the Constitution. I said, ‘Yes, of course.’ And he said, ‘So you believe in free speech?’ I said, ‘Of course.’ He said, ‘Then how about making one for the scouts?’ “

Moss gathers criticism

A week after walking off the field with two seconds to play, the Minnesota Vikings’ Randy Moss was back in the news for pretending to moon Green Bay fans.

Said Fox’s Howie Long: “It just goes to show that talent and class don’t always go hand in hand.”

Of Moss’ stunt the week before, Fox’s Cris Collinsworth said he would have benched him for three or four series Sunday.

“Not that he would have cared,” Collinsworth added.

Regarding Moss’ leaving a game early, CBS’ Shannon Sharpe of “The NFL Today” said, “Have I ever (left the field)? Yes, I have. It’s a situation where if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound? If the camera does not catch Randy Moss walking off the field, do we make a big deal out of it? No, I don’t think we do.”

Don’t buy trouble

Matt Leinart said he is leaning toward returning to play one more season at USC, instead of signing a big NFL contract. So what are his teammates thinking?

“They are all kind of against what I’m thinking,” Leinart told ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel last week. “They want me to take them out and buy them stuff.”

Said Kimmel, “I’m sure they do. Yeah, violate all those NCAA rules. The heck with it all.”

He has game, but not much else

TNT’s Kenny Smith, on Kobe Bryant: “He has got 99 problems, but skills ain’t one (of them).”