E-mail keeps us in touch – or does it?

I‘m constantly trying to do too much at once: talk on the phone while answering e-mail, or drive, talk on my cell phone and listen to music. But maybe this once I’ve learned something. Maybe.

Earlier this summer I was carrying too much to my car, which prompted me to set some things down in the parking lot in order to load it all. We’ve all done it — set that cup of coffee on top of the car then drive off, or left the bag of groceries on the trunk only to run over it after it fell off.

This time around, my problem wasn’t a simple cup of coffee. I set my laptop next to the car and forgot it was there. When I backed up, I felt a little bump and thought “Hmmm, what was that?” Then it dawned on me — it was my laptop.

Great. That little device that contained practically my entire brain. Well, that and my scheduler.

I got out of the car, picked it up, dusted the tire tracks off the flimsy canvas case, and suddenly that feeling of dread set in.

Being the optimist that I am, I opened it and turned it on. I came to find that it still worked, except for about 3 inches of the right-hand part of the screen. Phew. But this is where the true lesson began.

Early in October, I took off for two weeks and thought it would be a great time to send my laptop back to the manufacturer for a new screen. My technology folks here at the BBB handled the task, and when I returned from vacation I had a loaner laptop from another staff member to use. I was told my laptop would be back by the end of the following week. No problem, right?

Wrong. My entire e-mail address book didn’t get downloaded into the loaner, nor did a variety of documents, budget worksheets, financial histories and archived e-mail. My history was gone and I was lost.

I sat down to e-mail reports and questions to people whom I correspond with regularly by e-mail, and found that I had none of those addresses. I am an e-mail addict. It is my No. 1 preferred form of communication. People who do not have an e-mail address drop off my radar screen fast.

Not pleased with the realization I had become so dependent on e-mail to communicate, I began picking up the phone and calling people. That’s when the destructive side of the problem became apparent. The first couple of people I called commented, “Well, hi, Jan! I don’t think I have talked to you in at least a year.” Ouch. There I sat, thinking I was being dutifully “in touch” with all of these folks, at least by e-mail, but that certainly wasn’t their perception.

Not a week goes by without something being printed on our concern over young people spending too much time on computers and TV, text messaging, chat rooms and such, and not near enough time interacting with other humans. Adults are, frankly, no different. Consider this:

You make a call and hope you get voice mail so you can just cut to the chase and not have to bother with all those time-consuming niceties when you speak to a human.

You check Caller ID and decide if you’d rather send the call to voice mail so again, you don’t have to deal with the human side of the call. You send an e-mail to a coworker just down the hall because it’s easier.

You hold meetings using e-mail and send important and detailed documents using e-mail when the message, the goal and the future success of the subject would be much better served by dealing with others in person.

Do any of these “guilts” ring a bell? What are we losing in the quest for efficiency and speed? I don’t think we know yet.

But the best answer might be, don’t surrender your communication over to anything. Make it better.

I have made some promises to myself with regard to this lesson:

I will walk down the hall and talk to an employee, and not depend so much on e-mail. I will do my best to not send bad news via e-mail. I will make sure I make phone calls and visits whenever I can.

I won’t forward some funny or another’s message and consider that keeping in touch or maintaining a relationship. I will not apologize for an error or shortcoming via e-mail. And, any message that needs my voice inflection, facial expression or a gentle touch to go with it will be done in person, if at all possible.

Just stop and think about the impact a call, hand-written letter or visit has on you. These simple things become more rare every day, yet more appreciated.

By the way, look for my electronic Holiday Greeting in your e-mail inbox soon. (Just kidding.)