Racing pigs, elephant ears and magic return

There’s a familiar rhythm to summer here in Spokane. Think of our summer as a budding relationship.

Bloomsday is the first kiss, followed in succession by big, can’t miss dates – Hoopfest, July 4th fireworks, and Pig Out in the Park. The summer courtship culminates in a giant celebration, the “wedding” – the Spokane County Interstate Fair.

Maybe others can’t see the fair as “the wedding” but I see a lot of similarities – the gathering of friends, the fact cake is cake whether it’s “wedding” or “funnel,” and the distinct possibility that both the fair and a wedding reception can be chock full of barnyard animals.

The fair is simple and unabashedly corny … just the way Spokane likes it. You don’t have to go any further than analyzing recent fair slogans to prove that point. “Flock to the fair, we’ll see ewe there.” The “Mooolennium fair.” That’s great stuff by crack marketing teams.

I can see those fair board meetings now: “Our focus group says if we can get the Aflac duck into the slogan, we’ll be setting attendance records.” Being the fair never calls me for advice, I’m going to have to submit my slogan idea, unsolicited, now. I like “Woolly Bully – with the Sam the Ham and the Pharaoh Chickens.” It’s yours, free of charge, fair board.

The fair is a vital thread in the fabric of life here. It softens the blow of the return to school for the young. For those older and wiser, as we detect the hint of autumn in nightly temperatures, our inner “chipmunk” response is triggered, signaling us to gorge on elephant ears as we store fat prior to retiring to our burrows for the long winter hibernation. It’s a wake-up call for the swift passing of the current year.

One day we’re sitting on the stands betting on the Alaskan Racing Pigs and all too soon we’re passing the porker on holiday-trimmed plates with the scent of pine needles in the air.

The fair is mostly unchanging. Sure, like the Bloomsday finishing line, or the newly completed Riverfront Park fountain, there are tweaks to the event (like the new grandstand or new food booths) but essentially the fair stays the same.

One of those tweaks, according to the event schedule, is something called Fair Factor. I’m thinking it’s based on the popular TV show, “Fear Factor.” It either will be teams downing toxic combinations of candy apples, lamb kabobs and cotton candy without the aid of a stomach pump or it will be competing sets of intrepid parents leading their kids through the maze of the fair on a budget of $10 or less.

One of the never changing parts of the fair is the rides and prize booths. Social studies show that these serve as an important stage of adolescent life here in Spokane. When we as parents first start letting our kids go off with their friends to try their “new wings,” we send them off with “watch out for the carnys” ringing in their ears.

If they blow all their money quickly on oblong basketball rims, they are destined for more ground time before their next flight.

Some things I would change. Maybe parking could be handled a bit smoother, but at least it’s free. I might make the hypnotist less of a fair staple – I think we could all do his act.

But there’s one thing I wouldn’t change. If the fair is anything, it’s memories … a gift it never fails to deliver.

Those aren’t someone else’s children I see riding the llamas – those are my now grown kids, magically transported in time. That isn’t some hokey magic show up there – that’s where my daughter made her Broadway debut as the magician’s hand-chosen assistant.

There may never be big names like Dolly Parton or the Rolling Stones playing our fair, but the night a soft summer rain washed the air clean and dim bulbs lit the late night south stage as we all huddled under a tent watching Ben “Preslee” Klein doing his Elvis act while little kids danced in that rain, I thought that moment was perfect.

The steps you trod at the fair are familiar – no matter how many cow pies you dodge … and I wouldn’t have it any other way.