Idiot’s guide to the Super Bowl
Let’s face it, the first 39 Super Bowls were warm-up acts, excuses to pound down 1,200 calories worth of snack food and officially mark the end of the New Year’s resolution diet season. This year, though, it could get a little cozy around the TV as the nacho-grubbing, beer-guzzling yakity-yaks from the Northwest have a reason to watch the game. The Seattle Seahawks are playing the Pittsburgh Steelers, and we care who wins, we really care. For those who haven’t been paying attention, here’s our guide.
A touchdown’s worth of information to help you enjoy the game.
1.Kickoff is 3:25 p.m., but ABC’s coverage begins at 11:30 a.m. If that’s too long to wait, ESPN’s NFL Countdown begins at 8 a.m.
2.Aretha Franklin, Aaron Neville, keyboardist Dr. John and a 150-person backing choir will perform the national anthem. They will sing to canned music, recorded several days before the game, eliminating all Vegas bet possibilities on whether it’s live or karaoke.
3.The Detroit music scene has produced Motown, Eminem, Madonna, Mitch Ryder, Ted Nugent and Bob Seger, but London’s own Rolling Stones will perform at halftime. Stevie Wonder will perform in the pregame show as a tribute to Motown.
4.Seattle is off the dreaded list of NFL teams that have never played in the Super Bowl. Six franchises remain on the list. Pittsburgh has played in five Super Bowls (1975, ‘76, ‘79, ‘80, ‘96) and won all except Super Bowl XXX in 1996.
5.Enjoy your view from the couch. Tickets cost between $600 and $700 for the fans who didn’t have to go through a ticket broker. A family could spend $2,800 on four seats to the game or buy a Toshiba 56-inch HD DLP television at Huppin’s for roughly the same price. The cost of two tickets is about the same as in-state tuition for a quarter at Eastern Washington University.
6.Ticket prices for the first Super Bowl, on Jan. 15, 1967, were $6, $10 and $12. There were about 30,000 empty seats at the Los Angeles Coliseum where Green Bay beat Kansas City, 35-10.
Extra point. Enough about Detroit and its WinterFest. Future Super Bowls will be in warm-weather Miami (2007); Glendale, Ariz. (2008); Tampa, Fla. (2009); and Miami (2010).
SIX things to serve, bring or say at a Super Bowl party, and a little bathroom etiquette.
1.Make your own Rothlisberger to honor the Steelers quarterback. >>
2.Get things going with festive Jell-O shots. Use berry blue and lime flavors for Seahawks colors, and black and lemon (or pineapple) for the Steelers. (From the Jell-O kitchen: To create black, use two packages of orange and two packages of grape.)
3.Pass out 3-D glasses, just in case of another half-time “wardrobe malfunction.”
4.For those who think the bucket of Gatorade gag is still cool, sneak up on the host (or hostess) and douse him in the final seconds of the game to signify a triumphant party. But know the genesis of the stunt: New York Giants Lawrence Taylor and Harry Carson began the tradition during the team’s Super Bowl XXI championship season, dousing coach Bill Parcells. Copycats have been getting their coaches ever since.
5.Get the party conversation rolling with this stat: More than 3,000 people, including credential-toting “journalists” from MTV, the Food Network and Comedy Central, are reporting from Detroit. There are about 70 Western journalists covering the war in Iraq.
6.Partygoers need to be mindful and space out their trips to the bathroom to avoid a clogged toilet. According to the Scott tissue company, during halftime more than 350 million gallons of water will flush through our toilets as an estimated 90 million people use their facilities. That equals seven minutes of water flowing over Niagara Falls.
FIVE football terms and how to use them in sentences.
1.Clipping: Blocking an opponent from behind, typically at leg level. Clipping is a foul that results in a 15-yard penalty.
Use: If the ref weren’t so blind, he’d call Troy Polamalu’s hair for necessary clipping.
2.Double coverage: When two defensive players cover one receiver.
Use: The Christian Right has demanded double coverage on the Seattle Seahawks Sea Gals’ uniforms.
3.Pylon: The short orange marker at each of the end zone’s four corners.
Use: Said the cocky Steelers fan to the humble Seahawks fan: “Watch out, we’re going to pylon the points!”
4.Nickel back: An extra, or fifth, defensive back used mostly in obvious passing situations (thus the term “nickel defense”).
Use: What do you get when you give a Super Bowl vendor $20 for a beer? A nickel back.
5.Skinny post: A pass thrown down the center of the field as the intended receiver runs directly toward the goal post, rather than down the sidelines before angling in toward the middle of the field. An announcer may refer to the skinny post as a “glance” or a “bang eight.”
Use: Isn’t that the girl from “Grey’s Anatomy?” She’s such a skinny post.
FOUR things you didn’t know about the Seahawks or Steelers.
1.If it wasn’t for Paul Allen, the Seattle Seahawks may have become the Los Angeles Seahawks. Team ownership went from the Nordstrom family in 1976, to Californian Ken Behring in 1988, to Allen. The computer whiz – a Washington State University dropout – paid $200 million to buy the team on June 30, 1997.
2.Steelers owner Dan Rooney is the son of Art Rooney, who started the team in 1933 as the Pittsburgh Pirates. Dan Rooney is the last active member of an NFL founding family.
3.The name “Seahawks” was selected from 20,365 entries and 1,741 names submitted for a 1975 naming contest. A total of 151 people suggested “Seahawks.” However, the names Sea Chickens, Sea Monkeys, Sea-squawks and Sea-slugs have become fan favorites. And let’s not forget the 1987 replacement player team, the season of the Sea-scabs.
4.No Jim Brown, Joe Namath or Walter Payton among the list of Seahawk alums, but the team has produced its share of household names. Here’s what they’re up to now:
STEVE LARGENT
No. 1 in the polls among Seahawks fans, wide receiver (1976-89) and only Seahawk in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, Largent returned to his red state roots and became a Republican politician. After working his way up the depth chart to congressman, Largent ran for governor of Oklahoma in 2002 and lost to a Democrat by 7,000 votes. He currently is a lobbyist for the cellular telephone industry.
JIM ZORN
The easiest former Seahawk to track. Just look to the sidelines: Zorn has been the team’s quarterback coach for six seasons. He was the Seahawks’ QB from 1976-84.
KENNY EASLEY
Arguably the best strong safety (1981-89) in team history, Easley returned home to Virginia where he is an entrepreneur.
BRIAN BOSWORTH
While Largent, Zorn and Easley are among the nine Seahawks inducted into the Ring of Honor (as the team calls its hall of fame), the Boz routinely makes “Top 20 NFL busts” lists. Stretching his range as an actor, Bosworth was cast as a football player in Adam Sandler’s 2005 remake of “The Longest Yard.”
THREE cents worth of information about Super Bowl betting.
1.About 60 million people will bet $6 billion on the Super Bowl.
2.The Stardust Resort and Casino in Las Vegas offered 250 side bets on the 2005 Super Bowl.
3.Washington Gov. Chris Gregoire and Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell are in on the action. If the Seahawks win, Rendall will send Gregoire a box of hotdogs and Heinz condiments to donate to a food bank. Rendall also agreed to fly a “12th man” flag in Harrisburg, honoring the Seahawks fans who gained a reputation for being the noisiest in the NFL.
If the Steelers win, Gregoire will send a bushel of Washington apples and display a Steelers “terrible towel” in her office.
TWO suggestions for alternative TV (for those who couldn’t care less about SBXL).
1.Animal Planet – Puppy Bowl II. Pups cavort on a play area that looks like a football stadium in the second annual event.
2.The History Channel – American Eats: History on a Bun. A documentary on fast food.
ONE reason to watch the game: The commercials
The cost for a 30-second spot is an estimated $2.5 million, up from $2.4 million last year.
Some celebrities who are expected to appear in ads:
Singer Jessica Simpson for Pizza Hut Cheesy Bites.
Leonard “Spock” Nimoy for Aleve.
Cedric the Entertainer for Anheuser-Busch Cos.
Comedian Jay Mohr for Pepsi.
Fabio for Nationwide Mutual Insurance Co.