The Slice: Next stop: Red light zone

Slice reader Jay Wyer has a question. But before you read it, I urge you to recall the old “Twilight Zone” theme music.

OK, go ahead.

“I’m wondering if anyone else has the same problem that I have with one particular traffic signal,” he wrote. “Every time I approach the signal at Palouse Highway and 57th, it turns red. This happens 95 percent of the time and it sometimes changes just as I approach.”

A traffic light that has it in for you? Could be. I once had a troubled relationship with a pay phone that thought it was a slot machine.

“Life in a Western town: Last week, on an especially windy afternoon, I was walking past the Davenport Hotel when a reasonable facsimile of a tumbleweed rolled by on the sidewalk.

An omen of Spokane’s future? A cosmic mocking of urban pretensions?

Nah. Sometimes a weed is just a weed.

“Slice Column Customer Satisfaction Survey: About 100 readers filled out and returned last Sunday’s form. I’m still analyzing the feedback.

But one thing became clear right away: Respondents were sending me mixed signals.

Take “cute kid” items, for instance. Some readers indicated these are the No. 1 thing that bugs them about the column. Others said kid items are their favorite part of The Slice.

A similar schism appears to exist re: pet-themed stories.

Or consider an even more basic column-composing issue. The survey asked if I should use more material from readers or use less. By a fairly wide margin, those returning the questionnaire suggested I should use less. But most respondents naming an all-time favorite column item identified stories that had been sent to me by Slice readers.

Several respondents who reported that they find The Slice annoying also wrote that they wish the column ran seven days a week.

And so on. Which is not to say the survey answers are without value. I’ve always considered readers to be my partners in this little project. I’m always interested in what the sane ones have to say.

So thanks to all who took the survey.

Here are just a few of the notes readers jotted along with their responses to the questions.

“You are water-cooler material.”

“Sick of cute and cuddly.”

“No more lists.”

“Why would I want you to change anything when you think so much like I do?”

“Try harder to offend people — most of them deserve to be offended.”

“Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke.”

“I hate you.”

“Remember that you can’t please everybody.”

“Paul, why did you wait for postage to increase before printing the questionnaire?”

“Today’s Slice question: What surprised you about jury duty?