Nanny can help the whole family enjoy trip

When my husband and I began traveling with our firstborn, we were inevitably asked if we were “bringing the nanny with us.”

At first we thought it was a joke. I soon realized that many families who are not Rothschilds have nannies and that most of them do not bear any resemblance to “Mary Poppins” or “Mrs. Doubtfire.”

I have little contact with the world of nannies, and the idea of taking one on a family trip seemed odd to me. Wasn’t the point of a family vacation to spend time with the, um, family?

Then my children aged a year, going from 4 and 6 to 5 and 7. Forget about all the milestones the books tell you about; the biggest change between these two age groups is that where 4 and 6 live and let live, 5 and 7 divide and conquer.

So when we started planning a three-week trip to Ireland, I began to experience qualms. As much as I was looking forward to spending more than 500 hours of unbroken time with my children, a voice in the back of my head kept murmuring, “Wouldn’t it be nice if you could bring the nanny?”

Except that we still don’t have a nanny.

What we do have, however, is a niece – a lovely 20-year-old named Katie whom we don’t see nearly enough and who had never been to Europe.

So a deal was struck: She would pay for her airline ticket, and we’d pay for everything else in exchange for “child care and light housekeeping duties.”

The kids were thrilled; Danny, perhaps the most social member of the family, loves to travel with friends and relations, and Fiona adores Katie with the ferocity only a 5-year-old girl can feel for a 20-year-old female cousin.

Before joining us in County Mayo, Katie and her Aunt Kay spent five days in Dublin. On the day we picked them up in Galway, Fiona leapt from my arms into Katie’s and stayed there the rest of the trip.

For the first week and a half, she and Katie shared a room, and bedtime has never been easier. Only Katie could comb her hair, only Katie could choose her clothes, and if you think I experienced any maternal pangs of regret, you haven’t experienced the sheer relief that a full night’s sleep and a nag-free morning can bring.

Richard and I did get to spend some time alone – we went out to dinner, heard some music – but we also got to sit down and read while Katie and the kids were outside playing blindman’s bluff or looking at the horses.

Those three little words, “I’ll take them” – for half an hour, even for a few minutes here and there – infused my vacation with, well, vacation.

And it was great getting to know my niece better, talking to her as we drove, showing her parts of Ireland and discovering new ones as well.

Several times, Katie and I went off to shop or hike or take a walk when no one else wanted to, and it was nice to have a little girl talk. With a big girl.

It helped that Katie was a good traveler – low-key, flexible, with good packing sense – although it took some getting used to a 20-year-old’s sleeping habits.

“How can she sleep so much?” Richard said, echoing no doubt his father’s comments, and my father’s comments, all those many years ago.

But most important, she was a distraction – and I mean that in the best sense.

We consider three weeks the optimum length of a European vacation; it gives everyone a chance to get over jet lag, become immersed in the customs of the country and unwind.

But three weeks is a long time for a small family to spend on top of each other, even with loads of horses and castles. It was nice to have Katie and Aunt Kay there to add zest and balance to things.

I understand why other families I know take along their children’s friends, even on expensive trips. The price of having another child to care for is more than balanced by the pressure it lifts from family bonds.

Of course, with Katie we had the best of both worlds – an exciting, energetic novelty who also could make dinner without burning down the house.