Diane Verhoven: Cut apron strings, not purse strings

Dear Diane: I am the mother of a very intelligent high-school senior. He has always been a good boy and stayed out of trouble. Due to his very high grades, he has been accepted at a very good private school. However, we have been having an argument lately about what dorm he will be staying in. He wants to request a coed dorm.

You might think I’m old-fashioned, but I think I know what goes on at these “coed” dorms, and I have told him in no uncertain terms that he must stay in an all-male dormitory if he wants us to help pay for his college at all.

He is very angry about this. He says he is a grown man, and if we can’t trust him to be responsible away at college, which dorm he stays in won’t matter. Are we being overprotective?

— Anxious Mom in Minnesota

Dear Anxious Mom: In a word, Yes.

Your son is absolutely correct. It doesn’t matter which dorm he sleeps in. If he’s going to have sex, he’s going to have sex.

This isn’t an issue of you being “overprotective” or “anxious.” You are being manipulative. You’re holding your financial support over that young man’s head in exchange for his continued obedience.

The reason I am taking your son’s side on this is because he could have simply lied to you and said, “Yes, mother. I’ll do whatever you say,” and then once he was out of your sight and reach, he could’ve done whatever he pleased and still collected your checks.

Instead, he stood up like a man and spoke the truth to you. Hooray for him and shame on you.

If you want to help your son financially, then do so out of a Mother’s Love —unconditionally.