“When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.”

– Voltaire

“People will swim through (excrement) if you put a few bob in it.” – Peter Sellers

Throw U.S. Rep. Jim Moran a sawbuck for honesty, if little else. At what must have been a rootin’-tootin’ Democratic Party dinner last Friday night, the Virginia congressman educated his flock on the gulf between what lawmakers say and what they do.

According to the Arlington Sun Gazette, Moran told a crowd of 450 that, in theory, he opposes pork-barrel “earmark” projects. So far, so good. But apparently his view holds only as long as his party is in the minority.

If Democrats take control of Congress and Moran finds himself pulling some purse strings on the powerful House Appropriations Committee, he let fellow diners know that “when I become chairman, I’m going to earmark the (excrement) out of it.”

Whoa, dude! Sounds like kegger time at Jimbo’s crib!

Several thoughts spring to mind here, some of them etymological, none of them positive.

First, one wonders how much Ripple made the rounds before Moran uttered his intemperate remark – a remark, by the way, that was amusing only because it rings so true.

One also wonders if Moran, who can shoot from the lip in his Democratic stronghold, didn’t get a wood-shedding from Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, who’s worked so hard to associate the term “culture of corruption” with the other guys.

Second, what could Moran bring to Northern Virginia that it doesn’t already have? Government facilities? Check. Dubious museums? Check. A bridge to nowhere, or at least Maryland? Check.

Third, lawmakers seem baffled that their snake’s-belly approval ratings are actually lower than President Bush’s.

Well, mystery solved, guys. When a colleague of either party admits – even in jest – that a fiscally prudent stance is a sham, an opiate to lull taxpayers until he gets a chance to lower his own snout into the trough, it’s enough to confirm voters’ worst suspicions.

It’s worth noting that Moran, according to his Web site, is a co-founder of the House New Democrat Coalition, a centrist group dedicated to “fiscal responsibility,” among other advertised tenets.

Any politician with a half-decent issue radar would realize the obvious this year: Voters are angry about special-interest earmarks, which they see as a symptom of the lobbying disease that’s sickened Washington.

Jack Abramoff? Duke Cunningham? Ring any bells, Jim?

With so much taxpayer bob up for grabs in congressional waters these days, no wonder Washington has become a cesspool. And no wonder lawmakers are diving in fully clothed to fetch it for their campaign contributors.

And finally, Moran’s comments feed into voter disenchantment that, when it comes to spending, there’s not a whit of difference between Democrats and Republicans. The modern dialectic of politics, after all, centers less on good governance and more on grabbing one’s fair share (see Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens).

In an e-mail Tuesday, Moran’s press secretary told me, “The congressman’s remarks were meant to be light-hearted and not a serious policy statement.”

Maybe so. But I’m not sure voters are in a joking mood. Or that Moran was truly joking. To his personal credit, Moran has embarked on a gut-busting weight-loss challenge to urge his constituents to slim down. If Democrats emerge victorious this fall, let’s hope that, despite his remarks, Moran will be equally eager to take on congressional fat.