Web shows ‘Potatoes’ not so bad on plates

That quixotic attempt to give Idaho motorists a license plate choice made its way to Fark ( www.fark.com), the WWWeb site that specializes in news of the bizarre. On Thursday, the Senate Transportation Committee quashed a bill that would have allowed Idahoans to choose a standard plate that didn’t include the fighting words “Famous Potatoes.” It was interesting to read what Fark posters thought about Idaho. Some suggested license plate slogans that would upset the potato lobby: “Idaho: Famous Heavily Armed Extremists.” And: “Idaho: Like West Virginia without the banjo music.” Others posted specific comments: “Everybody knows meth is their major export. Pocatello averages 2.4 labs per block.” Nothing was sacred. An East Coaster even dissed Idaho’s russets: “In Massachusetts, spuds come from Maine and Quebec. I would rather buy my produce from a Blue State anyhow.” Idaho: Rather be Red than Boo-Hoo Blue.

Garfield makes house calls

First, you should know that Toadman is a pseudonym for a Huckleberries Online blogger who works at one of the area colleges. Now, onward. Toad and his oldest son were leaving a Spokane Papa Murphy’s when they overheard a conversation re: how much Garfield the Cat loves lasagna. Seizing upon a chance to introduce Junior to a new food group, Toad suggested that lasagna must be worth trying if Garfield liked it. Right? Well, mebbe not. Junior said he didn’t like noodles. Then, Toad, who’s relatively (what’s the word today for “hip,” “with it,” “cool”?), pulled out the old bromide, according to his Synaptic Disunion blog, stating: “How do you know whether you like lasagna or not if you’ve never tried it?” But Junior was ahead of him. Seems Garfield had brought him some once. Toad: “Hunh? Garfield brought you some?” Junior: Yeah … and I decided that I didn’t like it.” Toad: “Oh? How often does Garfield visit you bearing food items?” Junior: “Oh, every now and then.” (Toad, muttering to his blog: “Foiled again! This time, by an imaginary friend. Blast!”) Game, set, match, to Junior.

Out, out, damn Californian

A funny thing happened to colleague Renee during a grocery stop. Upon returning to her rig in the Coeur d’Alene Safeway lot on Fourth Street, she found a terse note: “Californians are here because greedy Realters (sic), (expletive deleted)! They’re here to stay!!” Obviously, the note was in response to the homemade message Renee had posted in her back window: “Please, Lord, let it snow 20 feet this year – Maybe the Californians will leave.” Can’t figure whether the anonymous scribe was an ex-Golden Stater or an anti-Californian. Or both. But the note triggered discussion at Huckleberries Online. Thom George: “I got to town on a Thursday night, got an Idaho driver’s license on Friday, bought an old Ford pickup on Saturday, got a golden retriever on Monday, and a shotgun on Wednesday. When in Rome …” Commenter Seamus nailed a follow-up Huckleberries question that wondered when newcomers transform into true Idahoans. Seamus: “I think you are an Idahoan when you put money down for a burial plot here.” In other words, some are dying to get in?

Out, out, damn editor

Among those posting on Huckleberries Online last week was one Steven A. Smith. Yep, The S-R bossman – who was attracted by a discussion of quality cigars. Quoth: “I smoked cigars regularly for more than 20 years (shortly after my first job in journalism where the city editor showed me how to bury them in a dinner expense reimbursement.) I stopped more or less when I remarried five years ago and my bride said it was cigars or her. I still have a good cigar on occasion, but we have the 72-hour rule, meaning I have to be out of town for at least 72 hours after I smoke. But I still have a humidor with some good Cubans, including one from pre-Castro Cuba that will be smoked for some out-of-this-world occasion.” Like The S-R’s first Pulitzer?

Huckleberries

Poet’s Corner: “Thanks for the smiles/you gave our life/and farewell now/dear Barney Fife” – The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“Don Knotts”) … Wanna know why D’s have a rough time winning in Kootenai County? Well, they start about 19 points down the minute they throw their hats into the ring. County Clerk Dan English crunched numbers for the last four general election cycles and discovered the R’s outpolled the D’s on average 59 percent to 40 percent. And you wonder why Dan considers himself an endangered species as the last courthouse D? … “It was two years (seven women, three cars, a tobacco addiction, a trawler full of booze, 20 lbs, one darling chihuahua/pomeranian lost or murdered by a … neighbor) ago today that I started blogging” – Bob Salsbury/Spokane Valley celebrating the second anniversary of his Unbearable Bobness of Being blog last Wednesday.

Parting shot

When Berry Picker Whippersnapper saw that red Miata convertible with California plates and a Domino’s Pizza delivery sign on top, he thought to himself, “Welcome to the North Idaho job market.” Just that. He didn’t add, “Now leave,” as some of you might have. Then, Whippersnapper’s a gentleman.