Spokane mayor finding strength to deal with latest scandal

Ah, what a difference a few days can make.

When we left Spokane Mayor Dennis Hession last week he was impersonating a limp noodle at a press conference.

At issue was the decision two Spokane police investigators made to erase the explicit digital snapshots that Daniel W. Ross – a married, 35-year-old firefighter – took while having on-duty sex at a city firehouse with a 16-year-old girl.

Bold prediction: The previous sentence will NOT be included in the next Spokane tourism brochure.

Anyway. During the press conference Mayor Hession observed (and with a completely straight face, I might add) that this situation exhibited “not the best investigative practices by our detectives.”

On Wednesday morning I paid Hession a surprise visit at City Hall. I am ecstatic to report that I found the mayor to be at least 43 percent less wimpish than he was a week ago.

Hession is now conceding that the detective and detective sergeant “mishandled the evidence.”

That’s not exactly a Gen. Patton kind of response. But progress is progress.

So let me be first to say, “Huzzah for Hession.”

Call me an easy mark, but I do like the guy. Underneath his fine pin-striped dark suit, crisp white shirt, snappy gray tie and black shoes shined to a high sheen is an upstanding guy who has the city’s best interests at heart.

Hession is cursed with lawyerly reticence. He is cautious to a fault. He is preoccupied with due process and jurisprudence.

Even so, he is the antithesis of the flesh-eating virus that was Jim West, our recently deposed mayor.

So knock on wood. I believe we will see even more spinal growth from Hession in days to come.

By Friday, I’m counting on the mayor to upgrade his view of what these two Barney Fifes did to “badly botched.”

Hopefully he will boost that assessment to “irreversibly bungled” on Monday or Tuesday.

And by the end of next week – cross your fingers, folks – the mayor may come around to my position.

And that is that these so-called investigators should have their sorry, incompetent behinds booted all the way to Athol.

At least we have one positive development on the firehouse-teen-sex-photo-

shoot front.

Firefighter Ross – who has been on paid administrative leave since disgracing his profession – has resigned.

On a side note, it was fascinating to read in one of our recent news accounts that the detectives believed Ross thought the girl was over 18 because he expressed “genuine shock” when they told him her actual age.

If anybody had the shock market cornered I’m betting it was poor Mrs. Ross.

Still, nobody ever clued me in about the advantages of shock, and I certainly intend to make use of it in the future:

Patrol Cop – “Mr. Clark. We just clocked you doing 94 in a school zone.”

Doug – “What? I was doing 94? Are you kidding me? Why officer, I am thoroughly aghast!”

Patrol Cop – “Sir, I can see by your wide eyes and the throbbing veins in your temples that you have expressed genuine shock. You’re free to go.”

Nobody can accuse Hession of being thin-skinned.

The mayor welcomed me into his office Wednesday morning. He shook my hand. He even gave me a cup of coffee.

I’m fairly certain he didn’t spit in it.

We sat on the mayoral couches where Hession told me that he still has faith in the police and fire departments.

“I really do feel blessed with the opportunity to be here,” he said.

Good for you, mayor. Now do your job and lead Spokane into the light.

We’ve had enough genuine shock to last a lifetime.