Is there money in those field mice?
Never let it be said that Spokane Valley City Council meetings are boring. A recent meeting provided fodder for amusement as it touched on an impending fiscal crisis.
Morgan Koudelka represented the Spokane County Service Agreements. Part of that is animal control, which apparently carries a cost of $424,685.55. A councilman asked if some of that figure was offset by licensing revenue, but, no, it is what the city pays beyond fees. This provoked comment that the city should be more aggressive about enforcing dog and cat licenses to save the money. Translation: They aren’t getting enough from us in taxes. They’re angling for revenue, so those harboring an illegal critter, beware.
Council’s last word on this rascally item was, “We’ve got to keep this on our radar screen.” The only other time I’ve seen their poker faces unveiled was when creating an ordinance to limit garage sales. The evils of these petty crimes have got to be assuaged.
Keeping this on the city’s radar screen should not be taken as an idle threat. Last year, I sat in a council meeting when ordinance enforcement gave a presentation. An official demonstrated how satellite imaging can look right into your back yard and see if you are harboring a “nuisance vehicle,” or are the embodiment of a dangerous slob. They even taped off, like a crime scene, someone’s over-cluttered back porch steps as too dangerous to tread upon.
Individually, the council members’ own homes and like the rest of us received tax increases reflecting the staggering new market values. They also are smarting. This makes for a camaraderie that creates a merciless, revenue-hunting mindset. Remember it’s for the good of all.
We wondered how we could help the council garner more money with animal licensing. Why stop at dogs and cats? Why not create jobs? We’ll hire a few more catchers and include field mice on their hit list. It’ll be a catch and release mouse program. We’ll chip ‘em, add up the number of “chipped” mice and send a bill to the developer/owner of the big field of nefarious mice, whose development activities will soon render these mice homeless. Impact fees may be a hard sell, but no one’s going to lobby to protect homeless mice.
Even the developers’ attorneys would have a hard game of cat and mouse to try to avoid this charge. They own the field. They own the mice. Then, if any wayward mouse comes into our homes, we can check to see who the owner is and we’ll fine them again.
How about a real catch and release program? Station avid fishermen at the city limits of the Spokane River and give fish traveling from other areas moving violations for passing through our waters without a permit. Obviously we don’t own any fish – they come from Idaho or the county. We might even finagle a fine for waste that fish leave behind. This could be so lucrative we’d be able to build ourselves a new wastewater plant.
Only in America, can one find such ingenuity. Animal licensing may be the wave of the future.