Awkward encounters

Dear Harriette: I occasionally encounter my co-workers around town. Sometimes, they are standoffish and/or reticent, but when we get back to the office, it’s like we are old buddies. It’s very off-putting, and I never really know what to do. I always speak first because I find it awkward to see someone you know at a party or at the mall and not speak. Seems like a common courtesy, but I’ve been embarrassed on a number of occasions. Any advice? — Julie, Flint, Mich.

Dear Julie: Continue to be the person you are, with the same good manners you’ve always displayed. At the same time, you can be a bit more reserved when you see people who have treated you coolly in the past.

Next time you see the seemingly unfriendly co-workers, you can acknowledge them with a friendly glance, but that’s all. Don’t make your way over to them at a party or club.

Don’t redirect your steps at the mall in order to catch up with them. Stay your course. Remain focused on whatever you were doing, and if they enter your space, greet them. Interestingly, you may find that some aren’t sure how to be with you outside of the workplace.

Some people may actually be a bit shy and clumsy when it comes to social interaction, a quality that appears to be rudeness. Your continued friendliness will show those people that you are approachable. Your strength and conviction will put others on alert that you aren’t easy prey for their shenanigans.