Options include vasectomy and waiting

Dear Diane: My wife, “Verna,” and I have three beautiful children. I love all of them to pieces. I’m not much of a success except at one thing: I love being a Dad.

For the past five years, I have been working two jobs so that we can move out of our mobile home and put a down payment on a house in a better part of the county, where my children will have access to better schools and a safer environment to grow up in.

A month ago, Verna told me she wants to have another child. I was floored. As much as I love being a father, we simply cannot afford a fourth child — not if we want to buy a house in a better neighborhood.

I told Verna this, and she replied that we are fine where we are and that we can use the money I’ve been saving to cover her share of the bills while she takes two years off after the baby is born.

Diane, I don’t want this. I have been breaking my back for five years for the children I already have. I’m not about to compromise their future because Verna’s hormones are carbonated.

Needless to say, this past month has been a strain. I have been rejecting Verna’s romantic advances because I know she’s only interested in sex so she can get pregnant.

I’ve tried to explain why I don’t want another child now, but she is adamant. What can I do?

—A Victim of Baby Fever

Dear Victim: Well, the extreme solution is to get a vasectomy, but I don’t think that’ll help your relationship any.

A less extreme option is to tell Verna to wait until you’ve gotten settled in a new place. Then you could take stock of your financial situation and be able to make plans for a fourth child without hurting the other three.

I say this because I believe that if you were financially able, you would be eager to have another child. Find a way to make this happen.