Jim Camden: Get ready to hear parties’ contributions to scary season

Voters in Eastern Washington should prepare themselves to see pages out of the political “playbooks” for the congressional campaign organizations.

Just as a football team has plays that it hones in practice and relies on in a game, the national Republicans and Democrats have ploys and talking points that they use in a race.

And not to strain the sports metaphor too much, but sometimes the closer the contest or the more at stake, the more likely the team is to go to the book for those plays that worked particularly well in practice or a previous game.

So voters will see Republicans around the country talking about the absolutely awful things that will befall the good people of the nation and Eastern Washington’s 5th District if the Democrats take control of the House. Number one on the list is that Nancy Pelosi will become speaker.

Who, you might be saying? Pelosi is a 10-term congresswoman from San Francisco, who is also the House minority leader. So yes, it’s pretty logical that she’d be in line for the speakership if the Ds take control, and other ranking Democrats will become committee chairmen.

Republicans like to run the basic dive off left tackle play and say she’s a liberal – by which, let’s face it, they mean a “raise your taxes, create giant deficits as far as the eye can see and let gays run the military.”

In the other Washington, the prospect of Pelosi as speaker is something that Republican parents use to scare children into eating their vegetables. But for Eastern Washington, where she’s hardly a household name, it would probably be smarter to run the ball straight up the middle by saying “She’s from California, fer chrissakes,” and let the voters open up a big hole in the line.

Of course, if this were football and Spin Control were providing the color, it would be important to point out that the Democrats ran a similar play in 1994. If you vote for George Nethercutt, House Speaker Tom Foley kept saying, he’s going to vote with Republicans to back Newt Gingrich and move the speakership to Georgia! And we all know how well the play worked back then.

The Democrats’ playbook has a long pass on Social Security. It goes something like this: Republicans never liked Social Security, they’re dying to turn it over to their buddies on Wall Street, but in the meantime they’re going to raid the Trust Fund and force old folks to eat cat food.

They’ve called this play nearly every election in recent memory, and it hasn’t had much success. That’s because the Social Security issue can be as complicated as one of those trick plays where the quarterback pitches to the tailback, who flips back to the quarterback, who tries to hit a wide receiver just crossing the goal line. Lots of things can go wrong with the Social Security play, too, because to connect with the voters in the end zone, a candidate must have an alternative that can a) withstand scrutiny, and b) fit into a 30-second commercial.

But if you’re wondering why Cathy McMorris kept mentioning Pelosi and other unfamiliar Democrats at debates, or the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee has ads questioning her votes on Social Security, that’s why.

The clock is ticking

This may be the last warning you get: If you’re a citizen and resident of Washington state who isn’t registered to vote, but you want to cast a ballot in the Nov. 7 election, you are almost out of time.

Monday is the deadline to register to vote. And you can’t just print out a form online or pick one up at the library, fill it out and mail it in.

You have to go to the county elections office – that location in Spokane County is 1033 W. Gardner Ave. – before closing time Monday, and sign up in person.

A little extra trouble, no doubt. But if you really want to vote, that’s the deal.

And no whining. It has never been easier to register to vote. You had other chances and just procrastinated.

Just to be clear

In a debate sponsored by KSPS and KREM last week, Democratic challenger Peter Goldmark admonished Republican McMorris to remember the Ninth Commandment.

Everyone should take note that he’s talking about the Protestant/Jewish Ninth, not the Catholic Ninth. That’s where the former put “Thou shall not bear false witness …”

For reasons too lengthy to explain here, Catholics have the Ninth as “Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife.” But Catholics who had a brief, frightened flashback to catechism class should stand at ease.

Catch the candidates

Today: Televised debates between Cathy McMorris and Peter Goldmark, followed by Brad Benson and Chris Marr. 1 p.m. for 5th Congressional District. 2 p.m. for 6th District state Senate. KSPS-TV Channel 7.

Monday: Voice of the Faithful forum for legislative candidates on sex abuse issues. 7 p.m., O’Malley Hall, St. Aloysius Church.

Tuesday: KPBX 6th District Senate candidates debate, taped from earlier event. Noon, KPBX-FM 91.1.

McMorris with Attorney General Rob McKenna at a reception and fundraiser. 5:30 p.m., Spokane Athletic Club, 1002 W. Riverside, $250 donation.

Interfaith discussion of state ballot measures. 7 p.m., St. John Vianney Church, 503 N. Walnut Road.

Wednesday: Spokane County commissioner candidate forum sponsored by the Windsor Community Association. 6:30 p.m., Windsor Grange Hall, 4417 S. Assembly Road.

Goldmark at a critical issues forum sponsored by 4th Legislative District Democrats. 7 p.m., N. Pines Middle School Library, 701 N. Pines.

Interfaith workshop on state ballot measures. 7 p.m., St. John’s Cathedral, 127 E. 12th.

Thursday: Interfaith discussion of state ballot measures. Holy Family Church, 917 Chestnut, Clarkston, Wash.

Friday: 6th District state Senate debate sponsored by the Spokane Regional Chamber of Commerce. 7:15 a.m., Davenport Hotel.

Televised Spokane County commissioners debate. 9 p.m., KSPS-TV Channel 7.