Has twisted sister really changed?

Dear Diane: I am a 63-year-old widow. The only family I have left is my sister, “Amelia,” who is 69. All our lives we have never gotten along. When we were young, she teased me mercilessly. She was always the pretty one with the boyfriends. Always popular. She married a doctor.

As adults we rarely saw each other except during the holidays when our families would go to Mother and Father’s house. Amelia was always Daddy’s Girl. Even on his deathbed his last thoughts were of her.

When Mother passed away back in 1987, Amelia practically backed her car up to Mom’s front door and emptied everything she wanted into the trunk and drove off. I didn’t hear from her for almost 20 years.

Then, just last week, she sent me a birthday card. It was beautiful, handmade and with a handwritten note signed “Your Loving Sister.”

I almost fell over from shock when I read that. After all these years, she sends me a card like that. What was she thinking?

Honestly, Diane, I don’t know what to do about this, or how to feel. Any thoughts?

— Shocked in Syracuse

Dear Syracuse: I’m going to give your sister the benefit of the doubt, although from what you’ve told me about her, I should have no reason to feel this way, but here we go:

I think Amelia is finally beginning to realize that she doesn’t have much time left on this earth and that you are her only family left. I honestly believe she is reaching out to you in order to effect a reconciliation before she dies.

The question now is whether you are willing to forgive a lifetime of verbal abuse, emotional pain and sibling rivalry and take a chance that your selfish, mean sister is sincerely looking to patch things up with you.

I say do your best to forgive Amelia and take a chance on spending what time you two have left creating happy memories. Good luck.