Devotion keeps romance alive
Stacey Chatman vividly recalls the first time her future husband, Sly, kissed her.
“It was Halloween,” she said. “We’d taken my younger siblings trick-or treating.” She’d known Sly since junior high. He was always hanging around her house, ostensibly to play basketball with her brothers.
The New Orleans natives started dating after that first kiss, and dated all through high school. Sly joined the Air Force at age 18. According to his wife, they agreed to date others while she finished school and he was away. Chatman shook his head in silent disagreement with his wife’s recollection. She kidded him gently, “We did, you know we did.” He just shook his head in mock surprise.
Sly Chatman celebrated his 21st birthday by proposing to Stacey in front of both their assembled families. Stacey had been ill with kidney problems, and her dad was worried about her. “You will take care of her?” her dad asked. Sly’s answer revealed his romantic nature and passionate heart. “Sir,” he replied, “if I can be married to her for just one day, than all my dreams will come true.”
Twenty-eight years later, Chatman beams with the satisfied look of a man who has lived his dream. With a soft drawl of “Sweet thang,” he can still make his bride blush.
The Chatmans credit their 22 years as a military family for the strength and solidarity of the marriage. Stacey said for all of their married life they were far from home and family. “All we had was each other,” she said. “We had to make it work. There was no running home to Mom.”
The couple was stationed at Fairchild Air Force Base in 1994, and when Sly retired in 1998 they chose to stay here with their son, Sly Jr., and daughter, Charla.
Why did they settle so far from their Louisiana roots? “We were tired of moving,” said Sly with a grin.
They raised their children in their South Hill home surrounded by neighbors who became like family to them. “There’s good and bad everywhere you go,” Sly said. “You just have to surround yourself with good people who respect you and know you for who you are.” Fortunately they found good people in abundance here.
Sly is Stacey’s biggest fan, and, while reticent in talking about himself, he eagerly recounts his wife’s triumphs. Stacey is pursuing her MBA at Gonzaga and will graduate in May. But long before this accomplishment, her husband had written an essay about her for an Air Force newspaper. The paper sponsored a “Greatest Spouse” contest.
His glowing essay won. While recalling the event, he smiled at Stacey and said, “She’s still the greatest spouse.”
Their life has not been without challenges. These two very different personalities struggled with communication early on. Stacey said, “It’s important to make sure my voice is heard and he listens, and that his voice is heard, and I listen.”
They both agree that patience is the key to a happy marriage, especially when raising active kids. “We’ve been blessed with great kids, but we had to keep them busy and out of trouble,” Sly said. While acknowledging parenting is a lifelong commitment, he said, “Your number one priority should be your spouse.”
That philosophy has worked well for them, now that their children are off and on their own. “I can say I love him more now than when I married him,” Stacey said.
While they miss their kids, it doesn’t stop them from reveling in their quiet house and looking forward to traveling together. “It’s our time,” said Sly with a sigh. A big grin split his face as he gave his wife a squeeze and said, “There’s nothing better than being an empty-nester.”