Walk away or fall in love again?

Dear Harriette: I have been involved with a woman for the past eight years. When we first met, I thought she was the one I wanted to marry. Now, eight years later, I’m extremely confused and unsure. She has stood by me through thick and thin and she deserves to be married, but I have lost interest. She is a hard worker and a constant source of support, but the love I once had for her is gone. I must admit I have done some terrible things in our relationship, all of which she knows about and she still remains by my side. We tried couples counseling, but it didn’t work. I want to walk away, but I don’t want to hurt her more than I already have. Please help. — Martin, Detroit, Mich.

Dear Martin: It’s time to go back and think about what brought the two of you together in the first place. What about her interested you? Can you imagine rekindling the old feelings by re-creating some of those old, glorious moments? Many couples “fall in love” all over again when they take a vacation or just begin to do the little romantic things they did back in the day. You could be taking each other for granted and just need a boost to get your interests piqued again.

It’s possible you never resolved your bad behavior from years ago, and those actions drove a wedge in your relationship, draining it of intimacy. Of course, it could also be that you have outgrown this woman and/or simply are uninterested in being with her anymore. Figure out which one is true.

To be sure that you aren’t walking away from a great thing, try the option of planning a vacation and/or a series of dates to see if you can rekindle the romance — before you throw in the towel.