Books: Take journey through author’s hell, break cycle of abuse

Amy was a 37-year-old Michigan woman, a graduate student and longtime corporate employee. She met a man on the Internet, and soon they were living together. She was reluctant to introduce him to members of her family since he was — among other things — an ex-con.

In April 2002, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. It said, “Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved, but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me. Pick up Ron Ball.”

When Amy vanishes, her sister, Janine Latus, joins the search. Helicopters and search teams with dogs scoured the area while co-workers, neighbors and family members circulated her picture. Two weeks later, Amy’s body is found wrapped in a tarp and buried at a building site.

During this same period, Janine was struggling to leave her marriage, a marriage in which she felt afraid, controlled, inadequate and trapped. Haunted by her sister’s death, she began to wonder why she and her sister — two well-adjusted, successful women — ended up in such abusive relationships. The result was a magazine article she wrote that was later expanded into a book.

“If I am Missing or Dead” is the chilling true story of Amy’s death at the hands of her boyfriend and the author’s own painful relationship. This brutally honest memoir takes readers inside a controlling relationship, forcing them to feel the insidious emotional manipulation of abuse. This is not an easy book to read but one that is necessary if we hope to break the cycle of abuse that is commonplace in so many American relationships.