Divorced? Put holiday focus on children

The holiday season often brings families together, but for children of divorce, the season can be filled with stress instead of holiday cheer.

If your family has experienced divorce, remember to set aside your differences with your ex this holiday season. According to Dr. Howard Turney, the head of the University of Arkansas-Little Rock’s School of Social Work, divorce has a powerful impact on children, especially during the holidays.

“Children want their parents to be together no matter the circumstances,” Turney said. “Holidays are especially important times for children to feel loved and an important part of our lives.”

The best way to make the holidays special for your children is to spend time together as a family. That way, your children won’t have to choose between parents, which can make the difference between a stressful holiday season and a happy one.

However, a harmonious holiday season simply isn’t possible for all divorced couples. If you and your ex can’t make it work, there are still steps you can take to ensure that your children enjoy the holidays.

First, if one parent will be absent from holiday festivities, encourage your children to call and send cards and e-mails to share holiday greetings. Also, consider scheduling a second holiday celebration with that parent, even if it’s a few days late.

Be sure to coordinate gift-giving with your ex. You don’t want to give the same gifts or, worse yet, compete over who offers the best present. On a similar note, let children bring gifts from your ex to your home — remember, the gift belongs to the child, not the parent.

Simply put, focus on your children this holiday season.

“Holidays are a time for children to have fun with their families,” Turney said.