Harriette Cole: Driver refuses to share road-trip expenses

Dear Harriette: My friends and I often drive down to Virginia from New York. This past weekend, we road-tripped, but the driver refused to pitch in for gas and tolls. She said that since she was driving her car, she shouldn’t have to pay. What do you think? I thought this was extremely unfair because she volunteered to drive her car. We all offered to take the wheel and let her rest, but she refused. — Alisha, Jersey City, N.J.

Dear Alisha: You should have worked out your plan before you hit the road. Your friend makes a fair point. If she is paying for the car itself — its maintenance, etc. — she could believe that’s enough. But it’s not, unless she made that plan with you ahead of time. The group could easily consider her car’s maintenance a separate expense, depending on how you all look at the situation. The issue is not about rest but about sharing expenses and responsibilities on a road trip and being clear about what those are up front.

Moving forward, decide together what the plan will be, make it equitable and then follow through on your agreement. If you don’t like the idea of including the car costs in the overall price of the trip, invite someone else to drive OR pitch in and rent a car. Interestingly, that may open your eyes to the hidden costs of vehicle maintenance.