Dear Diane: Let longtime friend know comments unwelcome

Dear Diane: I have a great friend from elementary school. “Marjorie” and I have a long history (more than 30 years!), and we are always there for each other in our times of need.

Marjorie has one really annoying habit, and that’s making “suggestions” about things I do, say or eat. Sometimes she sounds concerned, but other times they reek of disapproval, and I’m not seeking her approval.

I love her to death, but I don’t need another mother. How can I keep my friend and lose the second mom?

— Feeling Henpecked in Harrisburg

Dear Harrisburg: After 30 years, I doubt you’ll be able to change Marjorie’s ways. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try — and hope that you can at least keep her suggestions to a minimum.

The first thing you need to do is decide between what Marjorie says that really gets on your nerves, and what you can live with. Then, whenever Marjorie says one of those verboten comments, kindly and politely thank Marjorie for her suggestion and say that you’ll keep it in mind. Hopefully Marjorie will get the hint.

If she doesn’t, you may have to calmly explain to her that she doesn’t need to always comment on your doings. Again, you need to be honest with Marjorie, but in a way that will get your point across without hurting her feelings. You know Marjorie better than I do, and so how you phrase this is your call.

If Marjorie and you are as close as you say, I don’t think this will cause a huge rift. I’m sure you two have the kind of relationship where you can talk to each other about anything.