Pia K. Hansen:Skywalks offer all you need, without the pesky fresh air

It was winter, it was evening and it was cold. A friend and I were walking from a restaurant back to this newsroom, talking about how downtown has changed, when she suddenly asked, “If you lived in one of those new condos on Main Street, would you ever have to leave the skywalk system, or could you just be indoors all the time?”

Clearly that’s a challenge too good to pass up, so here’s the scene for today’s column: I’ve sold my car and moved into a condo at 809 W. Main, and since I prefer to go shopping in my pajamas and fuzzy slippers – just like so many people I see at my neighborhood Safeway every day – I have to find everything I need within the skywalk system.

Let the fun begin.

The Crescent Court used to be quite a hub, but today there’s next to nothing there. As I walked through what I remember as a food court, all I heard was the sound of my own footfalls heading toward the STA Plaza.

Heads-up to local developers: The Crescent Court would be an excellent location for a downtown grocery store or market.

There’s an interesting mix of shopping at the STA Plaza where I could get pizza, incense, tongue rings, candy and backpacks.

Or I could get out of town.

Banking in the skywalks would be easy – I’d have a choice among several banks and credit unions – and if I ever needed a lawyer, the skywalks probably contain the highest concentration of barristers per square foot in the county.

There are plenty of coffee and sandwich shops throughout these climate controlled, second-floor tunnels, so during work hours it would be easy to get a snack.

Outside of the Monday- to-Friday, nine-to-five time slot? Not so easy. And beware: not all skywalks are open at all hours, and good luck finding breakfast on a Sunday morning. Of course, River Park Square is open long hours, so I’d have easy access to what’s available there. But I couldn’t get a hot dog at Cap’n Juicy’s without cheating.

Without a doubt, groceries would be my biggest challenge.

I’d be limited to a few exotic items from Williams-Sonoma and the more pedestrian selection at the drug store.

At Rite Aid I was surprised to find a large wine selection and even more surprised to find the bottles outfitted with an anti-theft device, so “in case you steal it, you can’t open the bottle and drink it,” the store clerk explained to me.

I thought the ergonomic-looking black plastic tops were some sort of combined bottle opener, reusable cap and cup, making it easier to access the wine. I’m European and even after 16 years in this country I still think of wine in terms of easy access rather than restriction.

Speaking of booze, I’d have to bribe someone to go to the liquor store for me as they don’t deliver. Now there’s a high level of trust I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for, whether I live downtown or not.

In the drug store food aisles, I found fresh onions and potatoes, tomatoes and apples, bacon, milk and bread. Mixed nuts, anyone? Followed by a canned tuna casserole and Danish butter cookies for dessert, making a meal is totally possible.

I could have groceries delivered, but not Starbucks – yes, I checked.

Going to the movies would be easy, but I couldn’t reach a live theater, and I couldn’t come up with a skywalk-accessible venue that has live music.

On the other hand, it would be easy to go see Santa.

Haircuts and other beauty services are available in many places. I could get to the library. I’d have access to a day care center.

So my conclusion to this little thought experiment is that yes, aside from a few inconveniences, it’s possible to live indoors downtown.

Unless, of course, I mail-ordered in a little dog – then there’d be no way around venturing outside.