Harriette Cole: Give friends, family to-do list

Dear Harriette: I realize that I am too busy. I hardly ever see my friends. Rarely even talk to most of them.

If I really think about it, my friend pool is dwindling considerably. I do my best to talk to my family — my mom once a week, my siblings every month (well, sort of). But I’m feeling bad. I work hard, and I am happy with my career. Still, I feel a little bit lonely and, moreover, I feel guilty.

My friends say I don’t care about them, which isn’t true. I’m not sure how to remedy this. There are only so many hours in the day. Suggestions? — Beth, New York, N.Y.

Dear Beth: Unfortunately, I can identify with your situation more than makes me feel comfortable.

One of my dearest friends from my hometown told me years ago that the way I experience my friends is quite different from her way or that of most of the other people in her life. She and I (as well as my other friends around the country) communicate on the phone or via e-mail far more often than we physically see one another.

My choice is to be vigilant about the electronic communication so that, at the very least, I’m consistently in touch with loved ones, although I’m sometimes remiss.

Include your loved ones on your daily or weekly to-do list.

Note the people you want to contact or visit, and create schedule time for them. Select “talk times” that can be uninterrupted. Send cards with photos to family or friends you rarely see.

Choose to visit people near and far whenever you can. And don’t promise something you probably can’t fulfill. That will only add to guilty feelings.