Dear Diane: Beer tab ticks off wife; more going on here

Dear Diane: I recently had a situation with my wife, “Linda,” that I don’t know how to resolve. It’s beginning to anger me, and it is definitely affecting our marriage.

A few months ago, I went to a sports bar with three good buddies that I’ve known since college. Since all of us are married with children, this was a rare opportunity to get together and watch a game.

We had a few pitchers of beer and a bunch of wings. When the bill came, I put it on my credit card. No big deal. At least I thought so.

Last month, the charge appeared on the credit-card bill. Linda asked me where the other guys’ money was. I told her they left a big tip and I covered the bill, and that someone else would foot the tab the next time. We’ve done it this way since college.

Linda demanded that I call my buddies and ask them to fork over their shares of the bill. I told her there was no way I was going to pull that malarkey on them. Now Linda rarely speaks to me and is denying me sex. What am I going to?

— Feeling Blue in Boston

Dear Blue: I have always advocated the Three-Account Relationship: You have your personal bank account, she has hers and then there’s a joint household account. This way both parties have their own Play Money and no one can demand how it be spent.

As far as asking your friends to cough up some dough, I think Linda is being a little unreasonable — but that’s not going to solve your problem. If money is the only issue here (and I suspect it isn’t), then make a coupon for Linda for the same amount you spent, and tell her she can charge the exact amount on the card and you won’t say a thing about it.

If she’s only mad about the money this should solve the problem, but I think there’s something deeper going on here.

This is too petty an incident for there to be so much strife. I suggest the two of you seek some marriage counseling soon.