Sense & Sensitivity: Travel snafu imperils friendship

Wed., March 28, 2007

Harriette Cole United Feature Syndicate

Dear Harriette: In the past year, I met a couple that does similar work. I invited them to come to our city to act as consultants on my company’s behalf. They said they would do this without a fee if their expenses were covered. My workplace agreed, and I offered my house for them to stay to save cost. They accepted and planned to be here four days (though we only needed them for two). I felt excited, as I like them both personally and professionally.

Before their arrival, my husband invited me to accompany him on a business trip the first two days they would be here. I reminded him of their arrival and that I could not go. One week prior to their coming, I sent an e-mail asking them to remind me what time their flight arrived so I could meet them.

Their response came the day before the flight, stating I need not pick them up because their friend was doing so and they had decided to stay with these same friends for the first two days and would join me on the last two days.

I am angry with them for not communicating this earlier. I could have gone with my husband! I now feel torn about welcoming them in my home. I will need to clean before and after, purchase food for them and act as a welcoming host.

Originally, none of this bothered me, but now it feels like a very undesirable chore. How do I tell them I’d prefer they stay with their friends the last two days? I need to maintain a good professional relationship with these folks, if not one of friendship. — Antonia, Lake Worth, Fla.

Dear Antonia: Offering your home to these people wasn’t the wisest idea. Still, it would have been inappropriate for you to go away with your husband at the same time you had invited them to support your company’s growth.

Make good on your invitation, or remind them graciously you had invited them to stay with you the first two days and the second two aren’t good for you. No matter what, remain upbeat and do your best to make their visit count. Your reputation is riding on it.

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