Shot putter Romanchuk keeps the laughs coming

David VonBrethorst made a bold statement.

The Ferris girls track coach wasn’t predicting the Saxons would upend unbeaten Shadle Park this evening at Central Valley to throw the Greater Spokane League standings into a final three-way tie for the championship.

He didn’t say senior shot putter Tanya Romanchuk would improve on her recent school record of 41 feet, 11 inches – second best in the league and third in the state – which was a 2 1/2-foot personal record.

But he did suggest any conversation with his Ukrainian-born senior thrower would be memorable.

“She is by far the most entertaining person I’ve met in my life,” he said. “Almost everything that comes out of her mouth is entertaining.”

He was dead on.

The only way to do justice to Romanchuk, who came to the States when she was 5, is to share her humorous comments, sprinkled with nuggets of serious information.

Why did your family move here?

“For cable television,” Romanchuk said. “We like the HBO … my uncle was here also, and most of my family.”

What’s your family life like?

“We’re like a traditional Ukrainian family. It’s really weird how some of my friends don’t do chores, don’t do housework. I’ve been Americanized at school, but I still have my Ukrainian roots (which are) the American dream. You can’t take anything for granted. Education is important. Work hard to succeed. You have to help yourself get ahead.”“

Are your parents sports fans?

“My dad is. He’s a chef at Clinkerdaggers. Mom is a housewife. She was telling her friends her daughter was a ‘shoplifter’. She meant shot putter.”

How did you come to throw the shot put?

“I think it’s in my blood, I’m Ukrainian. I was born to shot put.”

Why have you been inconsistent, especially in larger competitions?

“I never do good on my big meets, I take it too serious. In smaller meets we joke around, I can play music, have a good time and I don’t think much of it and I throw 40.”

You don’t handle pressure well?

“No, I don’t think so. I don’t think I do. I’ll learn, I’ll grow. Maybe someday. It will be a New Year’s resolution.”

You also throw the discus?

“I don’t practice as much, I favor the shot put. I’m always at the shot put pit. The boys hang out at the shot put pit, that’s why I’m there. I joke around with them. I ask, ‘Do you want to marry me, I need a green card. You don’t have to like me, really.’ “

What are you going to do for college?

“I might go to The Evergreen. Then I’m going to live in a tree because it’s socially acceptable there.”

After college?

“I want to travel and help people. I want to be like Angelina Jolie, minus the adoptions.”

You don’t want kids?

“One or two or seven would be fine for me.”

You mentioned studying religion, economics, philosophy and psychology. What kind of job do you want?

“I want to know how people work and then help them. I want to learn how your mind works so I can take your money.”

Are you ever serious?

“Never. When I try to be serious I never throw good. That’s why the coaches let me do my thing.”