Sense & Sensitivity: Midlife crisis bugs daughter

Dear Harriette: I am a high-school student, and my father is going through what I consider a midlife crisis. He’s a bachelor, and I know he has every right to enjoy his life, but he lets his flings come before his parenting at times. I’ve tried to talk to him, but he claims he is entitled to do whatever he wants and he never hears me out. I’m starting to feel like the parent in this relationship. How can I get him to understand my perspective? — Sydney, New York, N.Y.

Dear Sydney: Find a time when you have your father’s ear and pose a question: What would he do if you started behaving the way he currently is? How would he feel if you began to have flings in his face, without respecting him?

Tell him he is modeling behavior to you that makes you feel uncomfortable, not because you don’t want him to enjoy his life — which I believe you mean — but because he is exposing you to levels of intimacy that should be private.

Implore him to pay attention to you, too. Share some of your questions, concerns and thoughts about growing up right now, about what’s going on in high school. Paint a clear picture of your life right now. Remind him you need him.

Also, ask how you can be more supportive of him. It’s tough being a single parent and wanting to date. Perhaps you can strike a deal with him where you can share more quality time together and he can feel comfortable dating as well.