Love stories : Across continents, love grows, endures

The power of love, as the song goes, is a curious thing. For Regina and Weldon Merritt the power of love and destiny are symbiotic.

The two met in 1965 at a barbecue in El Paso, Texas. Weldon was attending Texas A&M and ROTC. Regina, a pastor’s daughter from Germany, was visiting her sister.

“Regina resisted attending because she thought there would be only ‘old people’ there,” Weldon said in his soft Texas twang. “But her sister refused to leave her at home so she reluctantly attended. I thought I would be the ‘fifth wheel’ at the dinner and almost decided to visit my sister. I decided to stay, and was pleasantly surprised when Regina arrived.”

“It was a divine intervention,” Regina said, a slight German accent slipped gently around her words.

“I fell in love without thinking about a husband – cross my heart. We came through the door and he was in the backyard cranking ice cream. So I think it was love at the first sight,” Regina said smiling. “We had a good time but my English was very poor.”

“It was her personality and looks that attracted me,” Weldon said.

When the evening ended, Regina asked Weldon for his address “so we could be pen pals and she could learn English,” Weldon said.

“I have to admit, I was not after a husband. I wanted to learn English,” Regina said. They corresponded for two years. In January 1967 Weldon was assigned to an Army base in Germany, close to Bonn.

“It was divine destiny because I was first scheduled to go to Hamburg to university and for some reason they didn’t get my papers. At the last minute I got into Bonn,” Regina said.

Added her husband, “and I was not supposed to be stationed at Datteln. I was supposed to be much further south. I got to Germany and they said, ‘We changed your orders; you’re going to Datteln.’”

When he arrived in Bonn, Weldon contacted Regina. “After visiting back and forth a few times, I asked her if she would like to be Mrs. Merritt, and she said ‘yes.’ To this day, she swears she didn’t understand what I meant at the time; but at least she didn’t back out after she figured it out.”

The wedding was planned after Regina’s college graduation but her sister was visiting in Germany and suggested the couple marry while she was there. They agreed.

They went to city hall to have the banns (a formal notice of marriage) posted. “They said, ‘Well you have to wait,’ and I said, ‘Well, I have to get married,’ and the eyebrows went way up,” Regina said, laughing. “After all, I was the pastor’s daughter.” Explained Weldon, “in Germany you can get married in a religious ceremony but the civil is first.” They arranged two marriage services for Aug. 18, 1967 with Regina’s father presiding over the religious ceremony.

“Her dad was familiar with the custom of kissing the bride but in Germany they’re a little more conservative so he made sure that I knew I couldn’t do that in church,” Weldon said.

On the church steps, they shared their first kiss as husband and wife. “A neighbor watched from across the street and said, ‘They kissed on the church steps. That’s a bad omen.’ Since then we’ve said, ‘Yep, she was right. We’ve been stuck with each other since,’ ” Weldon said.

Destiny can also be fickle, bringing people together at one time, separating them at another.

“My tour in Germany was cut short because they decided they needed us more in a little place called Vietnam,” Weldon said. Regina came to the United States, found an apartment and a job and waited.

The couple agreed their most meaningful time was when Weldon returned from Vietnam.

“In my mind, he always came back. It was the unconditional love that was his protection,” Regina said. “It was such a relief to see his shiny, skinny face.”

As well, their most difficult time was when Weldon returned from Vietnam. “He was so filled with things from the war that he was brooding over it,” Regina said.

“I didn’t have it as bad as a lot of folks there,” Weldon said. “We came into action a couple of times so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. But nothing about it was really good.”

Memories of the Vietnam War lingered until the couple joined Toastmasters, a group that focuses on improving communication and leadership skills. “That opened us up,” Weldon said.

“The lessons we have learned are valuable. I don’t think I would change even the bad ones,” Regina said.

“Everything you go through contributes to who you are,” Weldon affirmed.

The Merritts lived in New Mexico for 35 years. Weldon obtained a law degree and worked in municipalities. Regina followed a path of spirituality.

“I believe we are all having one God and everyone has their own language and their own rituals, it doesn’t matter whatsoever – what matters is how we’re connected,” she said. Her belief ultimately brought them to Washington state in 2005.

“One day I began prayers using my pendulum. A pendulum is your own magnetic energy allowing your unconscious energy to come through,” Regina explained. “I used it over a map and on each state it said ‘no’. I came to Washington and it said ‘yes.’ It was divine guidance – my prayers were answered.”

She added, “Washington reminds me of Germany’s Black Forest – the tall trees and blue sky. I love it.”

In August the Merritts will celebrate 40 years of marriage. Both cite the ability to forgive, express unconditional love and “value the opinion of the other” as the pinnacles in a marriage.

“I think I saw it with my parents,” Regina Merritt said. “My parents were married over 40 years. My mother had Alzheimer’s but they were still attracted to each other and loving and forgiving.”

That’s the curious power of love.