Pia Hansen: It’s hard out here for a pedestrian

I can’t take it anymore. I am a patient woman, and let me tell you I tried. But just the other night it became painfully clear that I’ve reached my limit: standing in the middle of the crosswalk on Monroe I came hazardously close to flipping off the driver who came barreling south from Riverside and almost ran me over.

Yes, I do occasionally jaywalk – I know that’s illegal and a bad European habit, and I am doing my best to curb those tendencies.

No, I don’t walk into the crosswalk unless I have a green light. That may seem ridiculous, but I’m adamant about waiting for a green light. My friends know this and they make fun of me for it.

I’m so darned tired of almost getting hit by drivers in this town. Working downtown for the past eight years I’ve had more near misses than I care to think about, and I’ve had the green light every time.

Thing is, if it comes down to an actual confrontation the car always wins, so I don’t initiate a game of chicken – I just jump for my life.

I can’t be all Zen and forgiving about it. Sorry, I’m past that.

At this point I’m likely to hurl my laptop – and this sucker is heavy – at the next car that cuts me off when I make my daily death jump onto Monroe Street.

For crying out loud, people, how hard is it to wait until a couple of pedestrians have crossed the street?

There have been quite a few car-pedestrian accidents in the region within the last couple of months – some of them fatal – and now the snow is here, making it even more difficult to stop your car.

I feel like I have a giant bull’s-eye painted on my behind when I hit the crosswalks. It shouldn’t be like that.

Try crossing Spokane Falls Boulevard by the library: you have two lanes of heavy-breathing cars, all ready to make that turn and race onto the Monroe Street Bridge as soon as the light turns green. If the first couple of cars floor it they can just make it through the crosswalk before I stand, stranded, in the middle of the street, hoping someone is brave enough to stop and let me cross the rest of the street.

Or try crossing Monroe Street at Riverside Avenue. Either you’ll be taken out by the three or four stragglers who ran the red light by the Spokane Club, or you can count on screeching brakes from those turning south from Riverside Avenue. This crosswalk has the added excitement of not being green for pedestrians long enough: I can make it three-quarters of the way before the light starts flashing red. If you aren’t walking at full speed, you don’t stand a chance.

And then there are all the times I’ve almost gotten hit by someone making a right turn. Dude, our slogan is not “Near Nature, Near Nailed.” You still have to yield to pedestrians even though your light is green. That’s a very simple concept to understand, even if they don’t have a lot of traffic lights or pedestrians in your neck of the woods.

Come on, pay attention. So what if you have to wait another 15 seconds?

That can’t possibly ruin the rest of your day, though it sure seems like it judging by some of the hand gestures I’ve seen.

The meter rates just went up and their hours were expanded, making it more difficult to park downtown – not to mention that we have lots of shoppers in town from other parts of the country – so you can pretty much count on seeing more pedestrians.

Now would be a good time to pay attention and make sure they make it home safely.