Harriette Cole: Maybe brother is saying, ‘You hurt me first’

Dear Harriette: I relocated to New York City from Atlanta last year for my job. My brother recently came to New York to visit one of his friends. He was here a week and didn’t call or make any efforts to visit me. If my sister hadn’t told me he was coming, I would have never known. I called him to talk about it, but he shrugged it off and said he didn’t have time to see me. I am so hurt. How can I get him to take the issue seriously? — Samantha, New York, N.Y.

Dear Samantha: Could your brother be upset because you moved away? It may be that, intentionally or otherwise, he was trying to get back at you for not being there for him during the past year. Showing up in town without reaching out to you got your attention.

You have every right to be hurt. But consider his perspective. How much have you communicated with him since you’ve been gone? If you left town and kind of forgot about him, you just got a wake-up call. Very often when a sibling goes off to build a life, there’s a period of adjustment when life is so interesting for the person on the adventure that time flies and the folks back home get lost in the shuffle. If this could be you, reach out to your brother and tell him you miss him. Invite him to visit soon so the two of you can spend special time together.