Good Grief: Four ways to support someone who’s grieving

The loss of a friend or loved one is seldom easy. Grieving is experienced differently by all, therefore it is often difficult to know how to support and comfort a person during this time.

“People are often surprised that grief affects them in so many different ways, whether it is physically, emotionally, psychologically or spiritually. Because grief is not talked about, it comes as such a surprise,” said Lulu Orr, executive director of The Good Grief Center, a Pittsburgh-based nonprofit bereavement center aimed at helping people cope with grief.

Keep in mind there are ways to show you care and help the person through a difficult time.

1. Spend time together – It’s OK to have some alone time, but it is important to balance that time with friends who understand.

Get-togethers or routine errands, such as trips to the supermarket or going out for a bite to eat with someone supportive, can be helpful.

Encourage exercising or taking walks outdoors to promote well-being with physical activity, fresh air, and sunshine.

2. Present new ways to work through loss – Show a loved one you care by giving them a heartfelt gift to will help with their healing.

Present them with a journal so they can record their thoughts; create a CD with favorite music, or peaceful background sounds that will help keep the quiet at bay.

A collection of inspirational quotes is always nice to turn to; and houseplants are great because they tend to last longer than flower arrangements and some require nurturing – which can be a welcome distraction in times of grief.

3. Communicate – Many people dealing with grief find that when others talk about their feelings, it’s easier for them to open up as well.

Be it through support groups or just one-on-one time with a friend or relative, often sharing your grief and telling your story helps facilitate the healing process.

There are also a number of Internet sites that offer online chat rooms for anonymous conversations if face-to-face meetings aren’t what a person desires.

4. Practice patience – There is no set timetable for dealing with grief. People learn to live with their loss rather than “getting over it” in a specific timeframe.

For some people, it takes longer than others.

Simply knowing there is a friend or an organization who understands can not only help someone feel less alone, but it also can do wonders for helping a person embrace life again.