Harriette Cole: Face time not happening with online suitor

Dear Harriette: I have recently met a guy online. We’ve exchanged phone numbers and have talked frequently for close to a month now, yet every time I try to set up a meeting, he is always taken up with his job.

I know he works a graveyard shift at a nearby hospital, which can leave him exhausted. He has been apologetic about not having had time to meet, but now it is weighing on my nerves.

Should I just stop suggesting we meet and simply accept him as a friend, or should I gently confront him? — Danielle, Queens, N.Y.

Dear Danielle: Ask this man directly why he refuses to meet you in person. Press him — kindly — for an answer. There are so many potential reasons for him to be in avoidance mode: He may be really busy, he may be married or in a committed relationship, he may feel unattractive, he may be particularly shy in person. Find out. If the two of you have truly come to like each other, don’t give up before you at least discover the reason he is unavailable. If, however, he absolutely refuses to respond, that is answer enough. Then you move on.