Harriette Cole: Mom, daughter in same dating pool

Dear Harriette: My mother and father have been divorced for five years, and she recently started dating. I am excited she has finally moved on from my father, but she is dating men half her age!

My mother is 50, and, although she still looks great, I don’t think it is appropriate for her to date 28-year-old men, especially because these are the men that I should be dating!

She doesn’t think there is anything wrong with dating men half her age, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Am I being selfish? — Renee, Staten Island, N.Y.

Dear Renee: You are in the dilemma that is far more typical of divorced dads who return to the dating world. When divorced parents (of either gender) date younger people, it often makes adult children feel uncomfortable.

This is exacerbated by the reality, like yours, that you both could end up dating the same people. Is there anything you can do about this? No. Of course, you could complain to your mother about the appropriateness of her behavior, but it would be to no end. You might make her feel guilty for attempting to have some fun — but it’s unlikely you will get her to stop.

This doesn’t mean you have to be happy about her behavior or even that you have to hang out with her and her various dates. You can tell your mother that, for now, you would prefer she keep her dating life to herself.

Tell her the truth: Her dating habits make you extremely uncomfortable. Ask her to let you know if she meets someone special. Then you should meet the man. You might also ask her to check with her dates to ensure that you aren’t dating the same people!