First get help

Dear Diane: After dating for more than two months, my boyfriend and I had sex last night. It was my first time. We were supposed to go out again tonight, but “James” just called and canceled our hook-up, saying he had to work a double shift.

When he called, it woke me up from a nightmare I was having about him leaving me because I had sex with him. I sort of freaked out on the phone. Now I can’t stop crying. I feel like my bipolar is about to crash.

I called James back and told him all about my nightmare and being afraid of him dumping me because I “gave it up.” He told me we’ll hang out tomorrow and sometime over the weekend, too. He sounded for real. I hope he was.

Am I being too clingy? Why can’t I get over this feeling? Please help me. I’ve never gotten this upset over a guy.

— Crying in California

Dear California: Whether James was “for real” is something you’ll know better than I. By the time your letter got to me, James will have called you for another date — or not. If you two did hook up, then your fears were unjustified. If he dumped you, then you were right. Only you know that.

Regardless, you do need to address this whole “bipolar” thing. If you aren’t getting professional counseling, you should. Calling yourself bipolar isn’t the same as being bipolar. Only a qualified professional can make that diagnosis and treat you for the emotional ups and downs you claim to be experiencing. Please get the help you need and deserve.