Shock continue to amaze

You know the Spokane Shock will have reached the entertainment point of no return if Will Ferrell shows up with a film crew and asks for a uniform.

Until then, nothing seems too wild, too crazy, too ridiculous, too over-the-top – and, yes, even too tacky on occasion – for the Shock, now moving into a boffo third year at the Spokane Arena.

On Saturday evening, the Shock boffoed the poor Stockton Lightning 70-12 in the 2008 home opener – known in the business as a “laugher,” a term only loosely applied to Mr. Ferrell’s sports-themed endeavors.

And the punch line?

Spokane plays these guys two more times this season.

Are you sure the Wellpinit middle school team that was introduced at halftime isn’t available?

“Our biggest struggle this week is keeping these guys grounded,” Shock coach Adam Shackleford said.

Really? Isn’t the $250 paycheck supposed to do that?

Still, you can appreciate the coach’s problem. After all, with the inevitable af2 roster churn – only eight players return from last year – how will the newbies know all the struggles this franchise has endured? You know – the championship it waited five whole months to win, the immediate sellouts, the civic lovefest, the merchandising bonanza?

OK, there was some untidiness at the close of business in 2007 – the demands of a spoiled fan base. You may recall the general manager scolding some of the customers to that effect, truly some outside-the-box marketing.

But there were no beery discouragements Saturday, at least none toward the home team. It’s amazing what a 42-0 halftime lead will do.

“It’s what our fans deserve,” Shackleford said.

And all 10,659 on Saturday night must have appreciated it, for not so much as one “We want Rummell!” was heard – providing one of the night’s more delicious ironies. Justin Rummell, the departed backup quarterback and former people’s choice, was off in Ohio leading his new team, the Manchester Wolves, to a season-opening victory, throwing for 305 yards.

The quarterback who beat him out in Spokane this spring completed seven passes Saturday night.

Such a thing would have inspired bleacher mutiny a year ago. But no matter how modest Jason Murietta’s statistics were, he was at least getting the Shock into the end zone – four of those balls were for touchdowns, and he danced in untouched for another.

His Stockton counterparts, Chad Elliott and Joe Micco, were preoccupied mostly with getting out of their own way.

They didn’t get out of Spokane’s way often enough. Sacked on the game’s second play, Elliott was out until midway through the second quarter, at which point Micco had fumbled once and been intercepted once as the Lightning fell into a 28-0 hole. Elliott would not quite undo that – returning to throw four picks himself. Two of those went for touchdowns, the last by af2’s reigning player of the week, Sergio Gilliam, who did a Bob Beamon into the end zone from the 5-yard line.

“We’ll see him on television,” Shackleford predicted, meaning something not narrated by Greg Heister.

The other one was a nifty snag on a pass over the middle by Kevin McCullough, a cheerful newcomer from the University of Cincinnati who seems well suited to the new af2 rules that have let the “jack” linebacker out of the box and free to roam sideline to sideline.

“I know it was tough for them to lose the quarterback at the beginning,” he said. “We were headhunting out there. That’s a tough situation for them with a hostile crowd, and we knew they’d throw us the ball a couple of times.”

The disparagements of the indoor game as not being “real” football tend to lose credibility when players are carried off the field, and there were too many of those Saturday night (and a note to Shock management: “sponsored” injury timeouts? Really?). And real football could use a dose of small-time spectacular, as Eastern Washington’s Raul Vijil supplied with three touchdown catches and a run.

“When you can throw him a screen and he can make three guys miss,” Murrietta said, “it’s pretty easy.”

But, as we’ve discovered, there’s a lot to like even when the score isn’t 70-12. So far, Spokane does.

“These are the best fans I’ve ever played for,” insisted McCullough. “I saw that the first day I was in the city. I was walking around downtown, taking in the sights, and made some small talk with some people and when they found out I played for the Shock, they couldn’t have been nicer. You could tell they really love their team.”

And this was before he saw the one guy decked out in orange along the dashers, still banging on his solo cowbell with his team ahead 58 points.

“Simply amazing,” Murietta said. “It’s the best atmosphere I’ve played in and it’s really pretty impressive at this level. It’s just not something you expect to see.”

No, you don’t. But boffo isn’t just for the big boys.