Moviemaking great distraction from day job

Downtown Spokane has been harboring an array of shady characters lately.

Roaring engines, squealing tires and gunfire have blasted through the din of traffic. One time, a mysterious dark blue limousine circled the block, stopping in front of Macy’s. Two men got out and within minutes a fight erupted in broad daylight.

If that isn’t strange enough, Washington Trust Bank has endured suspicious high jinks where unusual characters have converged in clandestine encounters. Police have cordoned off streets and diverted traffic amid blazing guns and the strange mix of Spokane’s spring weather.

Yes, we’ve had adventure and mystery right here in River City … and it’s been great.

On the 12tth floor of the Washington Mutual Financial Center my co-workers and I have watched the filming of “Alicia’s Book” with rapt attention. We’ve squealed with delight at every Christian Slater/Cuba Gooding Jr. sighting and have become mesmerized with North by Northwest’s magical moviemaking process along with Hollywood’s spin doctors, actors, stunt people and props.

There’s one thing I’ve discovered: I’m glad it’s them out there and not me. A full day of shooting a chase scene equates to 30 seconds of big-screen time – maybe. Take it from one who has been on Hollywood cinema watch for two weeks and graduated to Tinseltown know-it-all, acting and its various sundries is a tedious and boring job.

Before the director shouts “Action!” into his nifty bullhorn, there’s a laborious process of cameras and tracking and wheels and movement that takes place. Hours later when every car, prop and actor is in position, the scene plays out in minutes. No flying cars, explosions, or blood and guts spewed about – that’s left to outsourced special effects masters in some dark room in India.

What you do see is a methodical placing of steps, camera positions and markers. The director shouts, the street quiets, the cameras roll and after hours of prep time, the action is over in five minutes. The final product is then shipped to a film editor who ruthlessly cuts it to smithereens in some dark room in Bangladesh.

Editors are the magic behind the movie, and like all editors they’re persnickety, but in a good way. You’ve got to love them. I love mine. Great guy; makes my work shine like a new penny.

Come to think of it, I’m no different than these Hollywood types. Like them, I depend on the whim of an editor and have seen my brilliant phraseology slashed with a click of the delete button.

So what’s the reward for creative work? Fame and fortune, of course, which is why I have a day job now in jeopardy because of hours of stargazing.

But enough about me. Hollywood is in our city courtesy of North by Northwest, and the streets are buzzing. The regulars within the downtown community ask each other the same question: Have you seen them shooting today? Notes are compared and gossip shared with a wink of an eye and a knowing smile.

Of course there’s always one in the crowd who has an “in.” A co-worker’s husband is an executive at Washington Trust and has tended to the stars while cameras and actors have scooted across the bank’s floors. “I ask him every day, ‘How’s your new best friend,’ ” she laughed, referring to her husband’s association with actor Christian Slater. A co-worker has met “Christian and Cuba” (her words) and said, in a well-rehearsed, panther-like voice, “They’re really nice.”

What’s-her-name is now awaiting a formal invite to the “wrap” party. “Christian wants us to attend,” (her words), but won’t finagle an invite for her co-worker, printer buddy and new best friend in the whole wide world, me.

Fine. I’ll stay home and hammer away on my keyboard in some dark room in Spokane, where outsourcing is optional, and hope Slater and Gooding will erroneously address the invite to me and not co-whatever.

But who am I kidding? That only happens in the movies.