WHEELS

It’s the time for holiday parties, with their scent of stale perfume, unidentifiable hors d’oeuvres and idle chatter. If the conversation turns to cars, it’s easy to impress others even if you know nothing about the subject. Just follow our suggestions, and you’ll sound like an automotive maven.

•When someone says: “I can’t believe how cheap gas is? I just paid $1.99 a gallon.”

You say: “Adjusted for inflation, that’s less than we paid in the 1960s.”

•When someone says: “I can’t believe the backup at the tunnel/bridge/ freeway this week.”

You say: “It’s not that bad compared to the traffic jam in Paris back in 2001. That one was 410 miles long. Can you imagine 410 miles of impatient Frenchmen?”

•When someone says: “Can you believe that GM wanted to buy Chrysler?”

You say: “Actually, it’s ironic. Walter Chrysler was president of Buick. He left GM in 1910 with a $10 million golden parachute.”

•When someone says: “I want a Toyota Prius; it gets 48 mpg on the highway.”

You say: “I am amazed at how technology has advanced. The EPA rated the 1976 Chevrolet Chevette at 48 mpg also, but it only had air bags in the back seat.”

•When someone says: “My car is filthy, it needs to be washed.”

You say: “Did you know that the first car wash opened in Detroit in 1914? It was called ‘The Automobile Laundry.’ ”

•When someone says: “I love my Toyota Camry. I couldn’t imagine buying any other car.”

You say: “Do you know the name comes from the Japanese word ‘Kan-Muri,’ meaning crown?”

•When someone says: “It’s about time Americans stopped driving gas-sucking SUVs.”

You say: “That seems unlikely. Americans have been driving SUVs since 1936 when the Chevrolet Suburban was introduced.”

•When someone says: “I love the Aston Martin DBS James Bond drives in ‘Quantum of Solace.’ ”

You say: “So do I. But in the books, Ian Fleming’s hero actually drove a supercharged Bentley.”

Virginian-Pilot