In NBA, West definitely best by big margin
Can you believe the NBA’s continental drift of late? The two conferences are headed in opposite directions – out West, the clock ticks toward another league title; back East, everyone’s pining for Daylight Savings Time to kick in, so they can get an hour closer to waiting ‘til next year.
The Western Conference is stocked with versatile rosters boasting quality big men and great point guards. The Eastern Conference pretty much has three teams – the Celtics, the Pistons and LeBron.
And what a February for the West – Pau Gasol to the Lakers, Shaquille O’Neal to the Suns and Jason Kidd to the Mavericks. That’s like Rubens to the Louvre, Michelangelo to the Prado and Cezanne to the Museum of Modern Art. If you’re the Raptors or the Wizards – or, say, the Art Institute of Chicago – how do you compete with that?
For a point-guard collection, the West now has Kidd, Baron Davis, Steve Nash, Tony Parker, Chris Paul and Deron Williams. The East, at the moment, has Chauncey Billups. The Knicks don’t even have a point guard – coach Isiah Thomas runs a Microsoft Excel program just before tip-off and picks out the 10 most likely plays in which his team might get fouled.
The West has become so competitive, teams are bringing back the best players from 10 years ago. O’Neal turns 36 soon, Kidd turns 35. Some skeptics think Shaq might turn the Suns’ run-and-gun attack into a walk-and-talk affair, which wouldn’t be so bad – Shaq is an entertaining conversationalist.
The Lakers, Suns and Mavericks all made big moves because they must contend with the perpetual champion Spurs, the surprising Hornets and the anonymous Jazz, a very good team of which most of America could not name two of its players.
(Column intermission: In just its second year in Division I, the New Jersey Institute of Technology men’s basketball team completed its improbable perfect season of losing, falling to Utah Valley State 76-50 Saturday to finish 0-29. The Highlanders, following form, missed 29 of 44 shots. My message to the NJIT hoopsters: Get your degrees!)
How tough is the West? The Rockets are on a 12-game winning streak – and might miss the playoffs. The Trail Blazers won 13 straight in December and likely will miss the playoffs. Indeed, a 50-win team in the West could sit out the postseason. It reminds me of a Thanksgiving I once spent with the von Trapp family – all seven children were there but they had only six solo numbers to go around, so one of the kids had to sit and watch all the others sing after coffee was served.
On the other hand, in the East, the Pacers have lost 21 of their last 28 games and they’re 2 1/2 games out of a playoff spot.
The West is the sunrise and the sunset; the East is everything bad that happens the rest of the day.
The East-West divide deepened with the recent trades – though LeBron had his Cavaliers go on a trading-deadline “Supermarket Sweep,” grabbing any player they saw in the final 60 seconds – and two of those deals hinged on retirees changing teams. Teams sometimes retain rights to retired players, then deal those rights to another team to make the exchanged salaries equitable under NBA trade rules.
In acquiring Gasol, the Lakers dealt Aaron McKie – who was working as an unpaid assistant coach with the 76ers – to the Grizzlies. In acquiring Kidd, the Mavericks dealt Keith Van Horn – who last played in 2006 – to the Nets.
Like they say, it’s good work if you can get it and you can get it if you try: McKie got $750,000, Van Horn got $4.3 million and neither is likely to ever play a minute for his new team.
Naturally, in New York now there is talk that Willis Reed will be reactivated and dealt.
Of course, I’m hoping the 76ers trade Doug Collins’s rights and maybe he’ll be off TNT by the playoffs.
Ask The Slouch
Q. If an Academy Award-winning actor confessed to using “performance”-enhancing drugs, should he have to give up the Oscar? (Gary Shuskey; Euclid, Ohio)
A. Actually, I believe Robert Downey Jr. once was nominated for an Oscar for using performance-enhancing drugs.
Q. What if it turns out that it was the NFL – and not the CIA – that actually used waterboarding to torture suspected terrorists before destroying the tapes? (Richard Siegelman; Plainview, N.Y.)
A. You know – and I didn’t think twice about it until now – Bill Belichick does have a timeshare in Guantanamo Bay.
Q. Has any newspaper ever stuck the “franchise tag” on Couch Slouch? (Jim O’Brien; Racine, Wis.)
A. No, but USA Today once barred me from coming within 100 feet of its “newsroom.”
Q. Have you heard the rumors that Congress is investigating Iron Chef Morimoto for using MSG in competition from 2002 to 2005? (Michael R. Kidwell; Urbana, Md.)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.