The Slice: It’s time to raise a stink about our grooming habits

Maybe it’s all in my imagination.

But I’m starting to suspect that an increasing number of people in Spokane stink.

More and more, when stepping into a crowded elevator or finding myself in some other close proximity to my fellow ‘Canians, I’m aware of a certain personal pungency. You know, body odor.

It’s not the end of the world, of course. My sensibilities aren’t that delicate. Still, it doesn’t put one in mind of roses and symphonies.

(Or perhaps finishing your breakfast. Sorry.)

I wanted to bring this up because I need to know if others have noticed the same trend. Are we facing a civic hygiene crisis?

I honestly don’t recall encountering this quite so often in years past. I’m sure I would have noticed.

To be fair, there probably are days when I myself am not springtime fresh. As I never tire of noting, I walk to work. That undoubtedly leaves me less than minty some days.

But I take two showers a day. I wear laundered garments. Moreover, I would be mortified if I suspected that I smelled anything like some of the ripe strangers with whom I cross paths these days.

By the way, I’m not talking about teenagers who don’t rinse off after gym class or homeless people who have more serious problems. The suspects causing me to recoil tend to look and act perfectly mainstream.

They just happen to reek.

What’s going on? Have people simply stopped caring? Do a lot of those old winter coats and aptly named sweaters need to be taken out of the starting lineup?

Is this a function of Spokane being “too married” and many people losing an interest in even the basics of desirability?

For the record, I wouldn’t propose zesty cleanliness as the ultimate guide to one’s character. Some of the worst people in the world have impeccable toilette routines.

Still, I wouldn’t want Spokane to acquire a reputation for malodorousness.

Remember, the slogan isn’t “Near Nature and Smells Like Something that Happened in the Woods.”

“Slice answer (leap-day birthdays): Tessa Williams told about how her husband, Stanley, will turn 80 on Feb. 29.

But when I mentioned that to Stan, he corrected me. “I’ll be 20,” he said.

Noted.

When he turned 4, Stan was in a newspaper photo with a couple of other Spokane leap babies celebrating their “first” birthday.

“Slice answer (assumptions made about people who drive black cars): “I have been an owner of black cars/trucks for most of my life,” wrote Toby Johnson. “My black ‘95 GMC Suburban has 412,000 miles and still is a sweet truck.”

In addition, he’s had a black ‘51 Mercury for 31 years. And he is expecting delivery on a new Suburban soon. Yes, it’s black.

“It is my theory that owners of black vehicles are both fastidious and frugal.”

Fastidious because it takes a lot of time and attention to keep a black vehicle clean. Frugal because you tend to stay home — and not spend money — when going out almost certainly means getting your car dirty again.

“Today’s Slice question: What Spokane area school cafeteria serves the most appealing fare?