Remember, you two share a grandchild

Wed., Jan. 9, 2008

Diane Verhoeven King Features Syndicate

Dear Diane: My son, “Elton,” has gotten his 18-year-old girlfriend, “Louise,” pregnant.

This poor girl was never told the “facts of life” by her mother, “Brenda,” who has always neglected her. In fact, when she heard that her daughter was pregnant, she told her to get an abortion!

I’ve taken the girl into our house and assured her we will help with the baby (our first grandchild).

As much as I want her to cut all ties with her useless and crazy mother, I know that at some point she might want to know her grandchild. Should I try to shield them from her mother, or should I grit my teeth and be nice to her for the sake of the family?

— Unhappy Grandma in Utica

Dear Utica: Not to put too fine a point on it, but if you had told your son, Elton, the facts of life, he wouldn’t have gotten Louise pregnant in the first place. Also, suggesting to her daughter that an abortion is an option isn’t “crazy,” nor does it make Louise’s mother “useless.”

But that’s all water under the bridge; let’s address the situation at hand.

It’s obvious that you and Brenda don’t see eye to eye on anything — except one thing. You both share a grandchild.

Bite your tongue. Learn to be more tolerant of Brenda’s views. Don’t try to pit either Louise or her child against Brenda. Brenda loves her daughter, and Louise loves her mother. Respect that love. Do whatever you feel comfortable doing to help Louise and Elton with their first baby. And allow Brenda to do the same.

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