Going HD quite a reality check

First there was the catastrophic warning about the demise of television as we know it.

Then there was the Christmas bonus in hand.

Then there was the ad.

Combine the three and you’ve got a couple of sitting ducks at Huppin’s Hi-Fi Photo and Video in downtown Spokane on a cold December evening slapping down hard-earned cash in exchange for a 47-inch Toshiba 1080P HD LCD entertainment masterpiece. They say one is born every minute but my husband and I aimed to prove that statement wrong.

There are two born every minute, my good man, so step aside and let the fools rush in.

The first link in this event was the catastrophic warnings that appeared in subliminal form leading us to the mall. One minute we were strolling the vast signs of consumerism and wondering why we were there and the next we were eyeballing the newest high definition and plasma screens with Dolby digital surround sound. That’s when that urgent reminder, similar to a sonar ping, chirped the warning that by 2009, all airwaves will be digital and the television-watching public had better be prepared.

Our response was heightened but our bank account refused to listen to the Level Red analog-to-digital threat hitting the airwaves. When the frenzy subsided, we remembered that we’re seasoned victims to the media’s perceived warnings and stepped back to view the whole picture … which was pretty darn spectacular by now.

The sharp detail, blinding colors, the pock-marked and blemished faces of our favorite “stunningly beautiful” and “handsomely roguish” pirates (Arrr!), convinced us that this wonder of the HD realm was screaming for a spot in our living room … until we took a gander at the price. Once again the bank account squeaked; my husband moaned. This high-tech ditty wasn’t coming home any time soon.

Christmas arrived along with the second link in this Level Red chain of events. The wonderful Christmas bonus, making us believe we’re masters of our own castles and can go anywhere, buy anything with nary a thought to groceries or gas, was in our hot little HD hands.

It was a Saturday morning and it was, according to the ad, Huppin’s first-ever open-until-midnight Christmas extravaganza as well as the third and final link in our journey. Although the ad, with a pulse quickening “only 10 available!” caught our eye, it was the price that pulled us into the slushy streets of Spokane that dark and windy night.

Like every other television sojourn, we stared at the HD and plasma screens in awe. These salespeople know what they’re doing. The darkened room has recliners, and vivid images parade before you in unabashed color piquing the “I’ve got to have this” desire.

This particular HD was everything promised at a price that fell within the bonus budget leaving no after-holiday credit card depression. So what if our summer vacation just got tanked? We were proud owners of an HDTV and happier than two pups at doggie day care.

We tried to load our pride and joy into the Jeep. We called our neighbor who had a truck. We got it home. We moved stuff around. We spent a couple of hours in intensive color-coded wiring techniques. We discovered we had no TV stand.

We realized we had Comcast but not Comcast HD. Comcast was summoned, and like a true cable company, every service, including sneezing and coughing, has a Comcastic price. With a bit of finagling we dropped two premium channels to make financial room for the HD box.

Still, we had no stand. For a month we watched the HD from on high that gave innovative meaning to pain in the neck. Last week, we went, found and bought a stand.

Slipping the first Harry Potter movie into the DVD and hunkering down into the recliners for a winter Potter/Pirates filmfest marked the end of a journey and, as with any high-tech device, the beginning of another.

How the heck do you work the multifaceted, bilingual, universal remote and what in the world is Blu-ray?