Mnemonic devices help you play name game

Dear Harriette: Oh, you must help me! I’m terrible at remembering names! I literally get in front of someone, and his or her name is on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t process it. It’s not a good look, and I’m constantly asking my friends, family and co-workers to remind me to whom I’m talking. Do you have any keys to breaking this bad habit? — Sandra, Sherman Oaks, Calif.

Dear Sandra: I share your challenge and understand fully how embarrassing it can be not to remember someone’s name. I have learned a few mind tricks that can be helpful. The main point is to pay close attention to a person when you first meet. When the person says his or her name, repeat it back to ensure that you got it right. During the conversation, repeat the person’s name very naturally. For example, you could say, “Yes, Susan, that’s a great idea!” Repetition is a wonderful tool for reinforcing your memory. Also, when you meet someone, think of words that rhyme with his or her name or other word associations that can help you to recall the person later. Jot down something about the person on his or her business card or in a journal to help you remember.

Also, it might be good idea to have someone who is great at remembering names tag along with you to events. Team up with your friend. What people want most is to be acknowledged. If you don’t recall someone’s name, instead of feeling awful, smile and speak warmly to the person. If it feels appropriate, say you can’t remember the name. If not, just speak graciously and listen for someone else to call out the person’s name. Or have your friend ask.

Dear Harriette: My sister is getting married this summer, and she just sent out her invitations. She has registered at some pricey stores, and her choices are ridiculous. A mutual friend actually asked whether the luxury options were a joke. We come from a working-class family, and most our friends are the first to graduate from college. Has she lost her mind? — Freidan, Holyoke, Mass.

Dear Freidan: Here’s one of your first jobs as sister of the bride. Without outrage, you need to talk to your sister and let her know that she may want to expand her registry list. Many couples include a broad range of items on their registry — from extremely affordable items they may need for their new life together to more costly precious items. In this way, guests can comfortably make purchases based on their budgets.

A challenge for many couples occurs when they dream so big about their wedding they forget to come back to reality. Most people don’t want to enter a fantasy world in order to celebrate a wedding. Your sister needs to know that her registry has insulted her guests. Be that blunt. Then suggest options to broaden the offering.