Student offers comfort despite deep loss

When Anna Nelson talks about her brother, Carl, there’s laughter in her voice.

“We used to drive around the roundabout by Mt. Spokane, like, six times in row,” she said with a giggle. “We’d dress up in crazy costumes and go to the grocery store to get ice cream.”

Nelson’s senior year was turned upside down in November, when she learned her beloved brother had committed suicide. Carl Nelson, a student at Seattle University, hanged himself in his grandparents’ basement. “My Grandpa found him,” Nelson said.

The loss rocked not only Nelson and her family, but the close-knit Northwest Christian School community, as well. Carl Nelson was a NWC graduate.

Headmaster’s Assistant Bonnie Friedly said, “Anna has actually been support to the school in all this. She’s been a tower we’ve looked to.”

According to American studies teacher Chris Ryman, Nelson lost more than a brother; she lost a deep, close friend, and yet she’s made herself available to students who are struggling with the loss.

Friedly agreed. “In the midst of her own pain she still thinks of others, first.”

Nelson admits it hasn’t been easy. She said her brother had exhibited no signs of depression, and the family believes that stress and lack of sleep pushed Carl over the edge. In fact Nelson has made it a point to learn more about the consequences of not getting enough rest. “I’m doing a research paper on sleep deprivation,” she said.

Losing her brother at such a pivotal time in her life has profoundly affected this soft-spoken student. “You don’t really know when the last time you’ll see someone,” she said. “It’s so important to have no regrets. What if I made fun of someone, and the next day they died?”

Despite the upheaval, Nelson has maintained her grades and is planning to attend Spokane Falls Community College this fall to study sign-language interpretation. She said her faith has helped her persevere. “When I wanted to give up, I turned to God, and he gave me strength. I know one day I’ll see him (Carl) again.”

She also knows her brother would have encouraged her to press on. When he was home for Thanksgiving, Carl Nelson saw his sister struggling with her homework and sat down and helped her with her calculus assignment. “I’d want to give up on lots of things,” Nelson said, “but Carl wouldn’t let me quit.”

Her steady presence and intentional approach to joy have inspired those around her. Ryman said, “I believe Anna has set out to make sure this experience is not the undoing of her, but the defining of her.”