Co-worker lets cat out of bag
Dear Harriette: My husband and I just found out we are pregnant, but it’s very early. We wanted to keep the pregnancy private until I’m a bit further along, but informed our immediate family and closest friends. We even told everyone to keep it under wraps until further notice.
One of my friends since college is a co-worker. When I got to work yesterday, another co-worker (with whom I’m not exactly friendly) congratulated me on being with child. As the day went on, it seemed everyone in the office knew. Should I be upset with my friend? I’m sure she was really excited, but I specifically told her not to tell anyone. — C.C., Tacoma, Wash.
Dear C.C.: It’s tough to keep such a juicy, delightful secret, even sometimes for your closest friends and family. Given that your secret is out, you have to live with it. Be gracious to your co-workers, but make it clear that you would appreciate that people grant you privacy.
At it relates to your friend, let her know you are disappointed she betrayed your confidence. Moving forward, choose your confidants wisely as you go through your pregnancy. You will have many moments that are exciting, frightening and thrilling. Be mindful of who gets invited to share this precious journey with you. Limit the list to those who know how to keep confidence AND who understand how to be with you through the various emotional and physical twists and turns.
Dear Harriette: My new girlfriend spent the night at my place for the first time this past weekend. When we got up, I prepared breakfast while she made the bed so we could head to work at the same time. Later that evening upon my return to my apartment, I found her eyeliner pencil on my dresser. Do think that was a stunt or did she genuinely leave it? I don’t want to overreact, but I don’t like that behavior at all. — Mark, Jersey City, N.J.
Dear Mark: Bring the eyeliner to your girlfriend. Let her know you found it on the dresser and figured she needed it. You can watch her reaction to see whether she “planted” it or not. But it could simply be that she was putting on makeup, put it down and forgot.