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Boyfriend a riddler

Harriette Cole United Feature Syndicate

Dear Harriette: I went to a house party with my girlfriends last weekend and ran into a guy I’ve been dating. Though he chatted me up a bit, I could tell that he wasn’t interested in having a conversation, and he definitely did not introduce me to any of his friends. I felt awkward and uncomfortable for a while, but then decided to hang with my friends. I may not have made anything of it, except that the next day he called to ask me out to a concert the following weekend. Why would he play me, but then ask me out? — Venus, Cincinnati, Ohio

Dear Venus: What else did you observe about this guy at the party? Who was with him? Did you see another woman in the wings? Was he intoxicated? His behavior suggests that he had something to hide — namely you. Or maybe the other woman! The man was distracted. Quite naturally, you should feel uncomfortable about that.

I think you should ask him why he behaved the way he did. Without sounding particularly emotional, be frank with him. Say how disappointed you were that he acted as if he barely knew you the day before and now wants to go out again. Ask him why he thinks that’s a good idea. Put it back on him to explain. Chances are he’ll brush it off. Then you will have to decide your next moves. If you like this man enough to forgive this behavior, go out with him. If he pulls a slick one again, though, see it for what it is — and walk away.

Dear Harriette: What’s a great guy gift? My new boyfriend just got into graduate school, and I’d like to get him a congratulatory token, but don’t want to get too personal or mushy. It’s still a new relationship. Thanks! — Stef, Las Vegas, Nev.

Dear Stef: What is your boyfriend studying? Maybe there’s a gadget that could support his work, such as a digital voice recorder. That is a helpful tool for interviews as well as recording lectures. Most of them are affordable, around $100, and easy to operate. A classic graduation gift is a fine pen — either a fountain pen or a roller ball. Many companies make them — from Cross to Mont Blanc.